Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Merck Is Tired Of Grandma's Crap.


"While initial results look promising, we are confident that other drugs currently under development can increase the death rate among out-of-touch old people by even more" said Merck chairman and CEO Richard Clark in an exclusive interview that took place in my imagination. "Let's face it, after we lost the patents for Fosamax and Cozaar, the oldsters really aren't part of our business plan anymore, and from a financial perspective, are just using up resources that could be more effectively applied elsewhere"

"The sooner they are gone, the sooner we can get serious about the war against human papillomavirus." said Clark, who I also imagine as having an elderly parent sitting on a potential multi-million dollar inheritance.

"So while Saphris does give us a lot to look forward to, just wait until we get the approval for Strychnine SR™

6 comments:

Sunny said...

Loved this. I can just here that conversation plus similar ones taking place at other drug companies.

Mike said...

AMAZING. It was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing in the middle of immunology lecture.

Từ Thanh Giác said...

When I was a kid and read in the comic book about the evil managers of the corporations I thought that it was fiction. Now when I read you humorous fiction i realized that there is an awful truth behind it.

Anonymous said...

When I first read this blog last week, I could not figure out what the ad stated. Now, on my day off as I have more time to figure out this --incredible! Either there's 'more truth than we realize' to the jingle, and we're becoming more blase as a nation, or someone's head should be rolling at the drug company, because it is certainly NOT what I as a pharmacist focus in my job (and life)!

Anonymous said...

Merck went through so many mergers and laid off most of the talented people, they'll have a tough time dealing with their patent cliff. Too bad, so sad...not!

Hope said...

Welcome to the United States of MacDonalds. Capitalism is now the ONLY allowed form of patriotism. Remember when we were all kids and our parents said 'the world does NOT owe you a living'? Turns out, the world DOES owe you a living - at the expense of other people - if you are a big drug company and have stuff to sell.

I'm back to working in the SNF arena, and if you think the poor are forgotten, well, they have it made in the shade compared to the institutional population. A place we are all just one head injury away from, I might add. All the insurance companies and drug companies fist fight each other for this population's money, but not their actual CARE.

Sometimes, I just wanna go sell coffee at starbucks and unlearn all the ugly stuff I know.

Not to mention the revisiting of the older antipsychs that I see happening more and more. Which are even worse than the atypicals.

I recently had surgery, and one of the surgeons in that hospital likes freakin' haldol for nausea. So I made sure to say I was allergic to it before I went under. The surg nurse, rightly, asked 'what happens when you take it?' And I said ' a lawsuit.'

Bottom line. Antipsychotic medications should be used sparingly, for people with an psychotic diagnosis. Period. I'm sick to death of seeing us pour money into a drug company's pockets when we are too broke to provide truly adequate care to the under-served, under-represented, HELPLESS people in our country.

Okay. Rant over. Baby, you still know how to push my buttons. I'm sure that will keep you warm at night (or at least looking over your shoulder).