Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Latest Diabolical Plot By CVS To Destroy The Profession.

From the latest issue of the trade mag Drug Store News, which for some inexplicable reason gets mailed to my house every month, or maybe every 2 weeks. I don't know. I try not to pay much attention to Drug Store News:

WOONSOCKET, R.I. ( Mar. 15) —Serving as yet one more indicator of the vital role that pharmacists play in the U.S. healthcare system is a program implemented by CVS Caremark and Polk County, Fla., that clearly illustrates how clinical pharmacist interventions can improve diabetes outcomes for patients.



Clearly. That's why the opening paragraph of this story, in its entirety, is one giant 45 word sentence that doesn't say a goddamn thing. Because it's so clear. That sentence hurts my eyes. It's obvious what the real problem is here though, and it doesn't have anything to do with whatever this program is.

That pharmacist is touching a diabetic. The day I have to touch a diabetic will be my last one in the profession.

"We've been figuratively pimping out our pharmacists for years" CVS Charmain and CEO Thomas Ryan said in a fictional interview. "So we thought actually employing our professional staff as prostitutes was the next logical step. It not only allows us to meet the needs of this large segment of our customer base, which, let's face it, is quite often extremely unattractive and lacking in social skills, but also to elevate the status of the world's oldest profession by creating an association in people's minds with the healing sciences."

Ryan fictionally went on to say that CVS pharmacists would be instructed to create an emotional bond with program clients, and to never charge extra for a happy ending. Any tips will be 100% property of the corporation. "Just like in our immunization program" Ryan said in my mind.

I don't know what the deal is with the actual program. I gave up after I got three paragraphs into the story and they still hadn't spit it out, but I can't take that first sentence anymore. Here:

A joint program implemented by CVS Caremark and Polk County, Florida, clearly illustrates how clinical pharmacist interventions can improve diabetes outcomes for patients, according to a case study recently published in the American Journal of Health-Systems Pharmacists. 

First sentence is free Drug Store News. Anything more and you gotta pay me. I'm sure the people at Drug Topics will tell you I'm worth it.

Unless you want me to hold a diabetic's hand. Not enough money in the world to get me to touch a diabetic.

15 comments:

dlm said...

Aw, come on, it's not like it's contagious is it?? is it?? High sugar content, must be a sweetie!

Anonymous said...

Diabetics are almost as discusting as people with essential hypertension. (skin crawling) I would hate to touch one of those people. Could you imagine?

Anonymous said...

If I had wanted to touch people I would have been a doctor or nurse. After 2 seasons of immunizing, I am counting down the days until I never have to touch a gross person again! Why would you come straight from the barn to get your flu shot? Do people think pharmacists are immune to smell?

I have found my new profession---at the suggestion of my keystone tech-- welfare fraud investigator. All these years of enabling them, I think I will be especially skilled at tracking them down****insert evil cackle here***.

Anonymous said...

Let's definitely get anywhere close to those with chronic halitosis. They say it's terminal.

Anonymous said...

Was Linda Lovelace a CVS Pharmacist?

Rotten Tech said...

CVS is drunk on refill reminders. Is there a customer that hasn't had Xalatan filled in 4 months? Print it out on a report and require the pharmacist/tech call them asking them if they want to refill it. Out of state phone number/address, and a history showing out-of-state fills just yesterday? Too bad, you have to make at least 20 seconds on the line or you lose credit for this 'opportunity,' your pharmacy numbers go down, and you get an angry e-mail from corporate.

Texas Pharmacy Chica said...

I agree with "Anonymous" #2. I am really not a touchy-feely person and I am only happy to wear gloves when immunizing. And why do some people plan to get a flushot, at the pharmacy, then dress in 4 layers of clothing fitted together like pieces of lumber in a Mormon church?

But back to CVS. We never actually figured out what wonders they did in Florida? Was it significant? Innovative? Or a load of BS work put on techs like the phone calls described by Rotten Tech? And why do they not change their wait time music? I swear I've listened to the same piece of music the last 4 years when calling for TXF's.

Thank you for your rants.

PharMatt said...

Touching diabetics is bad, but that is just their publicly visible plot. The real plot to destroy the profession is happening in state capitols. I am a pharmacy student in Florida (admittedly an overly zealous one), and we went to the capital to lobby (beg) the legislators not to cut medicaid reimbursements again...and who did we find undermining our efforts? Why CVS of course... lobbying AGAINST the goals of the Florida Pharmacy Association... They want to close the provider network, make CVS the sole Medicaid pharmacy service provider and allow the State to cut reimbursement from WAC+4% to WAC+0 and remove the dispensing fee-- Maybe we should thank CVS? I never thought I'd see a chain VOLUNTEER to take it in the pooper for the sole purpose of denying that right to its competition. if this happens you guys a t WAGs, RA, Target etc will never have to deal with a whiny entitled medicaid patient again... and I'll be stuck handing out free drugs to assholes in escalades. joy

Anonymous said...

I hate CVS. Ever hear their 'hold' music? If I wanted to hear Yanni or John Tesh I'd go to a hippie coffee shop. That sappy shit makes me diabetic just hearing it.

Anonymous said...

"Serving as yet one more indicator of the vital role that pharmacists play in the U.S. healthcare system is a program implemented by CVS Caremark and Polk County, Fla., that clearly illustrates how clinical pharmacist interventions can improve diabetes outcomes for patients."

Clearly, this is what happens when you put a dimwitted bimbo in charge of your PR department who clearly never took a journalism or writing class in college. And clearly, what happened was that the lazy-assed "news" feed picked it up, clearly verbatim.

Clearly, people get paid for this crap, while many others remain clearly unemployed.

[GOD! Just thinking about this has made my BP hit triple digits.]

Keith said...

For anyone wanting to read the article, here is the online url: http://www.drugstorenews.com/story.aspx?id=133271
It is great to hear that CVS is doing all these wonderful things. Those folks at corporate must be saints. Should we write the Pope and nominate them for sainthood?

Anonymous said...

I think CVS, Walgreen, and Target chain drug must be importing undereducated foreign pharmacist who has no clue about the pharmaceutical care or medication therapeutic management to do the immunization clinic. I don't see any way, with current workload and counseling requirement to perform the immunization duties during the store hours unless bring in another pharmacist. We will see how much Chain drugstore will absorb the expenses unless all the immunizer have guarentees of payment or compensation .

Bitter Pharmacist said...

I work for CVS and I have no idea what bullshit they are pimping now. I can only imagine what fresh hell they are going to unleash on the retail monkeys next. No doubt it will have a ridiculous acronym and will be tracked on the execution scorecard in some random, meaningless way so corporate can kick us some more about not hitting our "goals".

PharmNet Rx said...

We are now incredibly stupider having read that.

C. Blake said...

I worked in S Florida for CVS until this week when I was terminated. Happened to another "mature" pharmacist a month or so.
I wonder if foreign pharmacists are replacing us--some say they work for less money and the older pharmacist make up to 61 dollars with their 3 to 4 percent yearly raises and four weeks vacations. That is a lot of easy money on the table.
Have your been or do you know of other mature pharmacists who have been terminated?--something to think about.
I never thought much about it till it happened in my bakyard.
What do you think?