Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sometimes The Joke Is Right In Front Of Your Face, And You Just Pluck It. Like A Low-Hanging Fruit.

From today's Yahoo business news wire:


DEERFIELD, Ill--Walgreens (NYSE: WAG)  is launching a pilot program in the Dallas/Fort Worth area to broaden its workforce and disability inclusion initiatives. The program aims to hire people with disabilities for 10 percent of service clerk openings at stores in the area. On average, Walgreens hires more than 1,600 service clerks a year in this area alone.
“We’ve designed facilities and training for people with disabilities to help drive opportunity, efficiency and productivity at our distribution centers,” said Walgreens senior vice president of supply chain and logistics Randy Lewis, who spearheaded the company’s decision to create an integrated and inclusive workplace. “Now, we’re taking those tools and bringing them to the store level to help create and maintain a diversified workforce. Emphasizing people’s abilities is our strength that will help everyone succeed.”

"While this will be a major change in the composition of our workforce, we are committed to do this reorganization in a way that will be as painless as possible for our current employees" Mr. Lewis didn't add. Using the 1,600 hire-a-year formula, he speculated it would take 2 to 3 years to bring the percentage of Walgreen's employees in the Dallas/Fort Worth area with disabilities down to the target of 10 percent, from the current estimated 60 to 70 percent chainwide.

"We deliberately picked this market because we knew it would be the biggest challenge to find non-disabled applicants, as the Texas employee pool has a far higher rate of disability than any other region of the country."

While it is generally assumed that the leading disability of a current Walgreen's employee is Down's Syndrome, or trisomy 21, in fact, an internal company document shows a wide and diverse number of disabilities among its workers, including disorders of specific genes, cutoff of oxygen to the brain during childbirth, metal plates in the head, lead poisoning, club foot, and scurvy. CEO Gregory Wasson, abandoned by his father as a child and a resultant sociopath, is perhaps the company's most successful employee with a disability.

Reaction among customers was generally positive.

"You mean next time I go into a Walgreen's and ask a clerk where the Afrin is I might get back something besides a blank stare?" said fictional Seattle area shopper Jennifer Downey. "Yeah, that would make me more likely to shop there."

Reached for comment by telephone, a Walgreen's cashier sat silent for 15 seconds before offering to transfer the call to the store manager, then accidentally hung up.

10 comments:

Nate RPh said...

They are just doing this to be able to pay them less and provide less benefits. Good for profits!

Anonymous said...

I would always wonder why it took a week to get in a CII. Then I heard it over the loud speaker, betwixt the Clay Aiken and Jessica Simpson hour of power. "Walgreen's now employs many disabled in our distribution centers." Good to see that Corky Thatcher, Benny the Mailboy and Warren (franks and beans!) are gainfully employed. Still can't get any Amphet Salt Combo in a reasonable amount of time. Poor kids.

Anonymous said...

At least Walgreens is 'not like those air traffic controllers getting to bring their grade-school kids to work'. (Can you imagine if a pharmacist let their 7-year talk to a patient, handle money, fill a script?)

ok said...

@Anonymous 8:51

I was working in my father's pharmacy at age 10 and I worked the drive thru window while running the register. But then again I was a bright child that somehow got into pharmacy school.

was1 said...

you need to take this schtick on the road.

Anonymous said...

Nothing quite like getting an RX filled by a pharmacist with Alzheimer's

Anonymous said...

As a Walgreens employee, I would just like to confirm that 60-70% of our employees are, in fact, absolutely retarded.

Phathead said...

So.... does this mean they're hiring Lloyd DuPlantis Jr>

Anonymous said...

As a former WAG employee who worked at corporate HQ, I can confirm that 99% of management are brain dead.

Anonymous said...

All WAG employees with a brain, spine and shred of character are leaving WAG in droves. My contract is up in May....