Thursday, July 23, 2009

So My Pee Forked Today.

I'm not kidding you. My bladder was about ready to burst in the happy pill room and I ran to the back and closed my eyes and desperately started the flow.

For some reason when you really really have to go it seems to help if you close your eyes when you start.

When I opened them and looked down at Mr. Pedro, what I saw was a stream of urine that looked pretty normal for the first 2 or 3 centimeters, but then split into two. I swear. Just like it was some sort of liquid fork in the road or something.

I usually don't make a habit of looking at my pee stream. Maybe I should start. How long has it been like this? How is it even possible? Is some sort of microscopic engineering corps working on a Hoover Dam kinda thing at the end of my urethra? Some sort of hydroelectric project maybe?

It reassured me on some level though, to know that according to the double slit experiment, this pee forking was evidence my urine was a stream of matter, and not a wave. I never thought of my urine as particularly energetic. Unless of course the act of observing had itself changed my urine into matter. Like in the double slit experiment. This is what goes through my mind as I eliminate my bodily wastes.

I kinda wanted to take a picture. I even started to fish around in my pocket for my cell, but then realized I just started a new wireless contract, and I really wouldn't put it past Verizon to be less than sympathetic if I ended up with a urine soaked phone.

I haven't peed since though. If it happens again I'll let you know.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Unless of course the act of observing had itself changed my urine into matter"

Everything is made up of matter. So unless ur pee was made from a black hole (and I don't mean the hole in ur penis), in which case it would be made up of antimatter, you can't change urine into matter because it already is matter.
That's all that matters.

Don't ask how a pharmacy student knows that.

Rev. T. Monkey said...

Happens to me all the time. One of the mysteries of male micturation.

Jessica said...

My dog's pee does that sometimes. He's an elderly cocker spaniel.

I guess that's not very helpful, is it? :)

Guzzo said...

Maybe you squeezed to hard?

NucRx said...

Nothing new, this is pretty common...funny though.

Anonymous said...

I think a black hole IS matter, not anti-matter...it's just unfathomably dense matter. And matter is solid, liquid, gas or plasma. Light is energy. Photons are light. Light is not matter...until the double slit experiment, which was his point? I don't know, I'm just a guy.

Anonymous said...

Light (photons) isn't matter, it's a wave...or is it? Hence the double slit experiment reference. And black holes are matter, not antimatter, they're just unfathomably dense. I don't know much background on drugmonkey, but maybe his pee came from a black hole? Certainly not a brown one, I hope...

studentPharm said...

Happens to me all the time, too. I never thought it was unusual. Peter, of Family Guy fame, even made a joke about it... something about messing up the bathroom after his post-coital pee forked all over the place.

Anonymous said...

"this pee forking was evidence my urine was a stream of matter, and not a wave."

Except all matter is a combination of wave and particle characteristics. The double slit experiments has been preformed on alpha particles. Remember the double slit experiment is a demonstration of the wave nature of light and the development of quantum mechanical effects on light.

I could go on but I will stop here.

Phrustrated Pharmacist said...

Two words: dickhole lint.

Anonymous said...

As matter falls into a black hole it is "ripped" apart and converted into energy (aka light) as it closer to the event horizon it eventually goes through a proses that is known as pair production. The antimatter falls in the regular matter is ejected.

Black holes are made up of antimatter.

Freida Bee, MD said...

I'm looking forward to hearing whether your ejaculatory trajectory has been impacted, as well.

Why am I in Pharm school? said...

Probably a pube got stuck in your trajectory. Usually happens after sex or masturbation ala the Peter Griffin comment.

auffer said...

Is that a medical term? =]

Anonymous said...

I'm a little disturbed by Freida's comment about looking forward to hearing about your ejaculatory trajectory...