For some reason when you really really have to go it seems to help if you close your eyes when you start.
When I opened them and looked down at Mr. Pedro, what I saw was a stream of urine that looked pretty normal for the first 2 or 3 centimeters, but then split into two. I swear. Just like it was some sort of liquid fork in the road or something.
I usually don't make a habit of looking at my pee stream. Maybe I should start. How long has it been like this? How is it even possible? Is some sort of microscopic engineering corps working on a Hoover Dam kinda thing at the end of my urethra? Some sort of hydroelectric project maybe?
It reassured me on some level though, to know that according to the double slit experiment, this pee forking was evidence my urine was a stream of matter, and not a wave. I never thought of my urine as particularly energetic. Unless of course the act of observing had itself changed my urine into matter. Like in the double slit experiment. This is what goes through my mind as I eliminate my bodily wastes.
I kinda wanted to take a picture. I even started to fish around in my pocket for my cell, but then realized I just started a new wireless contract, and I really wouldn't put it past Verizon to be less than sympathetic if I ended up with a urine soaked phone.
I haven't peed since though. If it happens again I'll let you know.