There Is Still Hope For My Customers -They Are Waking The Brain Dead In South Africa.

With a sleeping pill. I shit you not. I'll let the UK Guardian set the stage:

Across three continents, brain-damaged patients are reporting remarkable improvements after taking a pill that should make them fall asleep but that, instead, appears to be waking up cells in their brains that were thought to have been dead. In the next two months, trials on patients are expected to begin in South Africa aimed at finding out exactly what is going on inside their heads. Because, at the moment, the results are baffling doctors.

The remarkable story of this pill and its active ingredient, zolpidem, begins in 1994 when Louis Viljoen, was hit by a truck while riding his bike. He suffered severe brain injuries that left him in a deep coma. Doctors expected him to die and told his mother, Sienie Engelbrecht, that he would never regain consciousness. "His eyes were open but there was nothing there," says Sienie, a sales rep. "I visited him every day for five years and we would speak to him but there was no recognition, no communication, nothing."

All day long at the store I speak to people and there is no recognition, no communication, nothing. In South Africa evidently this is considered a problem.

A problem closer to being solved not because of anything Big Pharma did in the pursuit of profit, but because:

The hospital ward sister, Lucy Hughes, was periodically concerned that involuntary spasms in Louis's left arm, that resulted in him tearing at his mattress, might be a sign that deep inside he might be uncomfortable. In 1999, five years after Louis's accident, she suggested to Sienie that the family's GP, Dr Wally Nel, be asked to prescribe a sedative. Nel prescribed Stilnox, the brand name in South Africa for zolpidem. "After about 25 minutes, I heard him making a sound like 'mmm'. He hadn't made a sound for five years."

"Then he turned his head in my direction. I said, 'Louis, can you hear me?' And he said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Say hello, Louis', and he said, 'Hello, mummy.' I couldn't believe it. I just cried and cried."

Hughes was called over and other staff members gathered in disbelief. "Sienie told me he was talking and I said he couldn't be - it wasn't possible," she recalls. "Then I heard him. His mother was speechless and so were we. It was a very emotional moment."

Sanofi-Aventis, which holds the original patent on zolpidem (Ambien) which is about to expire, must be thrilled. After all, it says on their web site:

Sanofi-Aventis brings to it's research creativity and innovation, with just one end in view; patient health.

Just one end in view. Hmmmmmmmm.......back to the Guardian:

The company that first developed zolpidem, Sanofi-Aventis, was contacted by Nel and Clauss but appears to have chosen not to become involved in the trials or the use of the drug on brain-damaged patients. Instead, the brain scans on up to 30 patients will be carried out at the Pretoria Academic Hospital by Professor Mike Sathekge, head of nuclear medicine, and Professor Ben Meyer, one of South Africa's most renowned physicians.

When contacted to explain this apparent disconnect between words and actions, Jean-François Dehecq, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Sanofi-Aventis, said:

"Of course what we say on our website is a bunch of horse shit. The market for use of zolpidem in brain damaged patients is projected at $4.3 billion. Now I suppose we could spend our money going after a piece of that, or we could spend next to nothing to get a patent on Ambien CR, and continue to dominate the sleeping pill market, a market projected to be worth $11 billion by 2012. You do the math Einstein"

"A market, incidentally, we can grow with TV commercials and ads in Readers Digest" he added. "You'd have to have one hell of a marketing campaign to convince someone to go out and get a brain injury.*"

So yeah, good things are happening, but just remember what Big Pharma's commitment to patient health was. If you need another clue as to how the industry thinks, here's a cut and paste from an article I came across while hopping around the internet reading about the sleeping pill business:

Another drug on the market, Rozerem, the world's first non-addictive sleeping pill from the Japanese company Takeda, could very well get overlooked given the strength of the blockbuster sedatives, analysts say. Amusa has projected $300 million in sales by 2010, and said the fact it's not addictive is hurting sales.

Someone probably got fired over the fact he was behind bringing a sleeping pill to market that wasn't addictive. Idiot.

*The figures are real. The quotes are my interpretation of what Jean-François Dehecq would say in an alternate universe where no one lied.

An Open Letter To My Cat.

You've been here a few years now, and you may have noticed that there are parts of our home that are carpeted and parts that are not. Do you think that next time you cough up a hairball, that maybe....just maybe..... you might just consider leaving it somewhere on the 50% of the place that has bare floor? Just once? It might make for a nice change.

And what's with the way you chew my stuff? Holes in my clothes, bedsheets, furniture, even your own freakin' bed. I thought that kind of shit was for dogs. I was very clear at the SPCA that I wasn't interested in a dog, so seriously, there's no need for any inferiority type complex.

I also shower every day, making you licking my arm in the middle of the night when I'm trying to sleep completely unnecessary.

On the other hand, meeting me at the door when I come home from a day of dealing with pill-seeking barbarians is kinda cool. Feel free to continue this.

And the way you fall asleep on your back with your paw raised in what looks like a black-power salute is pretty funny, although I doubt you're aware of the political statement you're making.

...............oh hell...........never mind you furry freak. Just please stop chewing on the electrical cords. You might end up killing us both.

Is Anyone Surprised About This? Anyone?

Some days I feel like a broken record. Or for you kids out there, an Ipod that keeps playing a tiny part of an audio file over and over. From the New Jersey Star-Ledger:

WASHINGTON -- The makers of 193 brand-name drugs most commonly used by older Americans raised their prices on average 6.3 percent during the 12 months ending in June, outpacing the 3.8 percent inflation rate for the period, according to a survey conducted by AARP.

If we go to the AARP report, we'll see that this is nothing new. Since 2000, the general rate of inflation has been exactly 20%. Brand name drug prices have gone up during the same time period by 41.3%, more than twice the rate of general inflation. How does Big Pharma justify this? They accuse the AARP of lying without providing any proof, then try a bit of razzle dazzle to make you believe their accusation. Back to the Star-Ledger:

The Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, the trade group for the big brand-name drug makers, said "AARP's allegations about pharmaceutical inflation are inaccurate."

There's the accusation of lying, and here's how they back it up:

PhRMA Vice President Ken Johnson said other studies have shown prescription drug price hikes have been in line with overall medical inflation since 2003.

"Wow", some of you might be saying, "it really does look like AARP is full of crap." Others of you might have caught the razzle-dazzle wordplay that is supposed to mislead you. It's one word in the above quote, "medical." Ken Johnson pulled it out of his ass to throw you off the "we're ripping you off" trail. The AARP is comparing drug prices to the overall rate of inflation. Ken Johnson says they are inaccurate by comparing drug prices to medical inflation. Ken Johnson either:

1) Is too dumb to know the difference between overall and medical inflation, or

2) Was hoping you wouldn't notice how he tried to back up his accusation of AARP lies by being misleading himself.

I called the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America at (202) 835-3460 to try and find out which one it was. I got a recording of a nice-sounding lady who invited me to leave a message. She also promised to return my call. She never did. So not only do they lie about other groups being liars, they're kinda rude.

Just in case you think these price increases are necessary to fund all that complicated research Big Pharma does, I'll throw in two more things:

Separately, Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) and a group of Democrats released a report that found profits for the 10 largest pharmaceutical companies jumped more than $8 billion during the first half of 2006, a 27 percent increase.

Seems like the extra money is flowing right into the bottom line, because new drugs aren't happening. Twenty drugs were cleared by the Food & Drug Administration last year, down from 53 a decade ago.

Paying more, getting less. It's a wonderful Big Pharma type of world.

The Mislabeled, Misunderstood Aisle 4

The fourth aisle in our store has an identity crisis. While it is secure about who it is, being right there where it feels it needs to be, between aisles 3 and 5, my employer decided to add a bit of mystery to it's life and has left the actual number off of the sign that hangs from the ceiling telling the weary consumer what is offered on it's shelves. Those of you that don't work with the general public would be surprised how much effort this adds to the average shoppers experience. Those of you who do probably have a good idea of the chaos that ensues.

Unfortunately aisle 4 is where most of the OTC medicines are found, which means that it often falls to me to guide the public around this obstacle placed in the way of the people's money making it's way to corporate headquarters. I start off with the simplest explanation, always hoping against hope that it will work. "It's on aisle 4, on the right hand side on the bottom shelf"

It never does. invariably the customer will look to the right at the big number "3", then to the left, see the big number "5", and immediately be befuddled.

"The aisle without a number, right hand side on the bottom shelf" says the helpful drugnazi, while simultaneously noticing that his tech has mistakenly typed a prescription for Wellbutrin XL for Wellbutrin SR. Roughly half the customers will be able to take it from here. The rest will go to step 3. "The aisle right in front of us, on the right hand side on the bottom shelf" The "right in front of us" sometimes will sink in, but nothing else. The person will then wander down aisle 4, looking to their left at a shelf above eye level.

I would go out and help if I had time and I cared, but I don't and I don't. I'm more worried about making sure the form of Wellbutrin your doctor actually prescribed is the form that makes it in your bottle. I'm funny about that. Filling prescriptions correctly. Besides, it's funny to watch you wander about in a clueless daze while I'm taking a phone call from someone who wants to know the name of "that pill that will make me pass a drug test". The caller is thinking of golden seal. It doesn't work. He'd buy it anyway if he could find it.

It's down aisle four.

This Just In: Big Pharma Keeping The Drugnazi Awake With their Corruption.

I was on my way to a well-deserved good nights sleep when I came across this story. I know that you, the general public, craves nothing more than evidence of drug company sliminess, so at the cost of a few winks, here it is:

In the biggest tax settlement in U.S. history, the drug giant GlaxoSmithKline P.L.C. has agreed to pay $3.4 billion to the federal government in a case with tax implications for other multinational corporations.

GlaxoSmithKline, based in London with a U.S. headquarters in Philadelphia, said it was settling to avoid a far bigger potential hit from allegations that it undervalued its U.S. profit on nine products - including the heartburn medicine Zantac and the asthma drug Advair - between 1989 and 2005.

It seems that GSK, which derives much of it's profit from adding letters like CR, SR, or XL after the names of products shortly before they lose patent protection, had a little scheme in which it would book revenue in low tax countries where it operated while attributing expenses to high tax ones, regardless of where the revenue and expenses were actually generated.

Of course the payment of the biggest tax settlement in history is in no way evidence that they are slimy, corrupt, unethical greedheads. Paxil CR would be all the evidence you need in that regard.

I'm throwing this in for fun, then I'm going to bed, from the GSK website:

It is particularly important that we operate to high ethical standards, act responsibly and comply with the law.

We are fully committed to ensuring that all our business practices meet high standards and that our employees behave ethically and honestly.

I am shocked.....shocked I tell you...at the blatant disregard for corporate policy GSK's conduct in this tax matter represents, and I know you are as well. Goodnight.

Your Government Spends $5.6 Billion To Start A Catfight Among Two Tiny Pharmaceutical Companies.

Republicans believe we can streamline government and make it more effective through competition and privatization.... It is greater competition - not unchallenged government bureaucracies - that will cut the cost of government, improve the delivery of services, and ensure wise investment in infrastructure.

-From The 1996 Republican Party Platform.

Ten years later, the party of competition and government efficiency has given us a privatized war that is a breeding ground for billions of dollars in corruption, a $200 million bridge to nowhere, and the Medicare Part D program, widely praised among experts and beneficiaries alike for it's efficiency and the way it streamlined the delivery of government services through competition. Any lingering doubts about the newfound era of government efficiency will surely be dispelled by a story in today's New York Times, which chronicles the saga of BioShield:

a $5.6 billion effort to exploit the country's top medical and scientific brains and fill an emergency medical cabinet with new drugs and vaccines for a host of threats. “We will rally the great promise of American science and innovation to confront the greatest danger of our time,” President Bush said in starting the program.

After 5 years, this is what we got:

So far, only a small fraction of the anticipated remedies are available. Drug companies have waited months, if not years, for government agencies to decide which treatments they want and in what quantities. Unable to attract large pharmaceutical corporations to join the endeavor, the government is instead relying on small start-up companies that often have no proven track record.

"Unable to attract large pharmaceutical corporations to join the endeavor." Wow. First key indicator: when you've got Big Pharma walking away from a pot of money, something is dreadfully wrong with your program.

The Monkey-Boy administration has managed to promote competition among two small piss-ant little pharma's though. "Competition" in the same sense of the word as a backstage superdiva bitchslapfest. In a nutshell:

-The Department of Health and Human Services awards an entire $887 million contract to develop a new anthrax vaccine to one small biotech firm by the name of VaxGen, a company that has never taken a drug to market. It's first major product in 2003 was an AIDS vaccine. Weren't aware there was a vaccine for AIDS? There's not. It didn't work.

(When I first saw this story incidentally, I briefly entertained hope that the work could possibly inoculate me from hearing the work of the band Anthrax, whom I abhor. To my disappointment, the vaccine was to be against the fatal bacterial infection.)

-The maker of the current Anthrax vaccine, Emergent BioSolutions, seeing a threat to it's business, starts a fierce lobbying campaign to promote it's product, which has been linked to 6 deaths, complications such as lymphoma and multiple sclerosis, and does nothing to keep you from hearing that godawful song "I Am the Law." Emergent has spent over $1 million doing things like hiring ex-government officials who pushed for a new vaccine to lobby Congress instead to buy more of the old stuff. “The advice we were given was wrong.” Says former top HHS official Jerome M. Hauer, now on the payroll of Emergent. Large paychecks can do wonders to get a person to see the error of their former ways.

The result has been nothing. VaxGen and Emergent BioSolutions have been fighting a lobbying war, billions of dollars have gone down a rathole, and we are not one step closer to dealing with an anthrax attack. Which leads me to my favorite quote in the article. According to an HHS spokesman, "to come in and criticize BioShield as a failing program because we have not spent all the money and don't have all the products in the warehouse is completely and sorely misguided.”

Yeah, don't criticize us just because we haven't accomplished anything.

Now here's the kicker, again according to the Times,

Because of the perceived urgency of the threat, the project suspends some traditional standards. It allows new vaccines or drugs to be used in emergencies before completing the lengthy Food and Drug Administration approval process. Full testing on humans is also not required because it is too dangerous, even though that means no one will know with certainty whether the vaccines will work until used in a crisis.

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PROVE IT WORKS! AND THEY STILL CAN'T MANAGE TO MAKE ANYTHING!! AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calming down now, lets go back to that promising platform of 1996

A Republican administration will make competition a centerpiece of government, eliminating duplication and increasing efficiency.

Nothing more here for me to add. This clusterfuck speaks for itself.

Read the whole story here.

Tuesday Morning Mailbag.

Probably the most enjoyable part of running my little blog garden is sifting through the comments of the people who feel moved enough by what I write to contact me. They never fail to entertain, and sometimes they can provide the material for a blog post or two, saving me the trouble of coming up with any ideas of my own. Yesterday a gentleman from Singapore wrote in to ask why I repeatedly refer to George W. Bush as "President Monkey Boy." While I thought the reason would be pretty obvious, the question seemed to be sincere. Maybe they don't have monkeys in Singapore. An honest question deserves an honest answer though, so in the "a picture is worth a thousand words" category, take a look below and see if this doesn't erase any doubts you might have as to where the name came from:




OK, that picture was mean. Monkeys don't deserve that kind of abuse. Here's a side by side comparison. I like to call this one "GET AWAY FROM MY OIL!/GET AWAY FROM MY FOOD SOURCE!"



Oh hell, why not one more. This one looks like he's trying to sing the national anthem or something. Not in Spanish I hope, 'cause President Monkey Boy said singing the national anthem in Spanish was bad.


Man, that was fun. People should write me letters more often.

My Sexual Kink May Be The Key To Stopping Islamic Terrorism

Sometimes great thoughts come to you when you least expect it. Today, for example, while trying to forget about today's pill counting experiences, I wandered around the Internet and made a great leap towards ending Fundamentalist Islamic oppression of women. Here it is:


Of course I didn't realize this at first. All I did was stop what I was doing and think "That woman could be a teetotal babe or she could be bald." Somehow I found this prospect intriguing. Then it hit me:

Burkas make me hot.

It's the surprise package thing I'm totally into. Unwrap and you never know what you'll find. Perhaps a Fiona Apple or Emmanuelle Beart. On the other hand, maybe a Madeleine Albright or God forbid Janet Reno. Think about that moment of excitement when you're playing Monopoly, reaching for the pile of "Community Chest" cards not knowing if you're going to collect $50 from every other player or get sent straight to jail. It's kinda like that.

Of course the irony of a garment meant to enforce modesty attracting the attention of an amoral atheist cad such as myself cannot be overstated. If Muhammad lets his woman take a great leap into the 19th century, then I'll walk by her without a second glance. Wrap her up though, and my inner Glenn Quagmire starts to wonder why the wrapping is necessary. Think about it there Ahmed. I know you'll do the right thing. Giggity giggity giggity.

Life Ain't Easy For A Big Pharma CEO

It's been a rough year for Peter Dolan. His office was raided by the FBI. He was outsmarted by Canadians. He watched the stock price of the company he ran, Bristol Myers Squibb, fall nearly 60% under his tenure and profits fall to under the level the company pays out in dividends. Two drugs the company had invested millions in, the blood pressure medication Vanlev and the diabetes drug Pargluva, were rejected by the FDA. The same FDA, incidentally, that had no problem with Baycol, Bextra, Duract, Posicor, Propulsid, Redux, Rezulin, Seldane, Tequin, or Vioxx, all drugs that later had to be pulled from the market after they injured and/or killed people. The board of directors finally had enough and showed him the door. After approving a 2.2 million dollar bonus for him. Seriously.

Ok, let's back up a little bit. The FBI raid was the result of an investigation into BMS's accounting practices. Apparently Mr. Dolan came up with a scheme to provide incentives for wholesalers to buy more of his company's product than they could sell. I'm no accounting guru, but I think it's safe to say when the feds come 'a knocking and make you agree to have a federal judge watch your actions in return for not putting you in jail, you've fucked up.

The outsmarted by Canadians part is my favorite, because I love Canada. It's my favorite country on the entire planet. Someday I'm going to show up on Canada's front porch in a basket with a little note attached asking them to adopt me. The particular Canadians to this story would be the generic drug company Apotex. Apotex had made a move to challenge the patent of Plavix, one of BMS's biggest selling drugs. Evidently this made Mr. Dolan soil his pants, as he entered into an agreement with Apotex to essentially pay them to drop the challenge and not make a generic version of Plavix. Apotex said they would take the deal only in the case that if the agreement was struck down by regulatory authorities, BMS wouldn't go to court for 5 days after Apotex starts making a generic and also would waive it's right to seek triple damages when it does go to court. BMS agrees, confident that there's no way the agreement will be nixed.

Guess what happened? Several states attorney's general and the FTC opposed the deal, which got scrapped. Apotex then cranks out the generic Plavix for 5 days and floods the market with enough product that BMS had to reduce it's earnings estimates for this year by 25%

BBBBWWWWRRRAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Wait, it gets better. A judge ruled in the original patent dispute in favor of BMS. Meaning there was no reason to ever enter into this disastrous agreement in the first place.

There is no way you can say that Peter Dolan wasn't a shitty CEO. Unless you're on the Board of Directors of BMS, which both gave him the previously mentioned 2.2 million bonus and fired him. So I guess they kinda did say he was a shitty CEO, in a weird type of way. The way they write a 2 million dollar check to a total fuck up makes you feel good about paying over $300 for a month's worth of Abilify doesn't it?

I can just hear the compensation committee next year evaluating the performance of Dolan's replacement:

"Well, let's see, he stopped all research and development, implemented a program where we start to pay people to take our drugs, and publicly declared that Bristol Myers Squibb would give preference in hiring to known pedophiles. I would say a bonus of around 1.5 million would be in order. All in favor?"

So yeah, enjoy your bonus there Peter, along with your regular salary of $1.25 million, your "other short and long term compensation" of $2.8 million, and your "long term incentive payout" of $1.1 million. You just take that total of 7.3 million dollars and try and pay someone to come up with a reason as to why you deserve it.

Peter R. Dolan. Business failure. Con man success.

You can read more here, here, and here

An Unhealthy Obsession Fulfilled

From the moment I first saw a blog with categories, I seethed with jealousy. I knew then the only reason that Big Pharma was allowed to run amok, the reason that Republicans continued to be in any position of power anywhere in this country, the reason there is one ounce of stupidity left anywhere on this planet, was because my writings were not as easy to sort through as they should be. I wrote many a hate mail to blogger.com to curse them for putting any kind of barrier between my wisdom and you, the people who so desperately need it. I tried some half-ass hack for awhile that was supposed to be able to put categories in a blogger blog. Some of you have probably noticed it usually didn't work and when it did it never worked well. I almost moved my little blog garden once, but in the end, laziness prevailed and it was you, the public, that suffered. For that I apologize.

Today I am happy to report that if you look at the top of the page under the picture of me that really isn't me, you will see all my online thoughts neatly organized into 4 broad categories. It would seem that the people at blogger have finally realized that the best way to stop my 300 page hate filled diatribes fed-ex'd overnight to their corporate headquarters is to stop calling the police and give me what I want. They have added the ability to easily tag posts to the new beta version, and while I am happy for the moment, I am sure in the long run this move will only encourage me to make ever more unreasonable demands of them. Until then, feel free to browse.