Those In The Employ Of George Bush Are Evidently As Good At Identifying Supporters As They Are In Identifying Countries Responsible For 9/11

Because I got a letter yesterday soliciting a contribution for the George W. Bush Presidential Center. Seriously. W thinks I'm gonna give him money. After all I've written about him over the last five years, I pop up on a list of people who may be willing to part with their pay in order to show their gratitude for everything he did to this country.

Suddenly I'm not afraid of the power of the surveillance state at all.

You know what I think would be fun? A mash-up kinda thing. Like alternating actual words in that letter with actual things that have appeared in this blog. Here we go:

As we break ground on the George W. Bush Presidential Center, every effort is being made to ensure longtime supporters of President and Mrs. Bush are involved from the outset.

December 11th, 2007- I Bet I Could Defeat George Bush In A Boxing Match. What I would have to do is use my jab to keep Bush on the outside, because you know damn well if he got in close he would fight dirty. Elbows, kidney punches, ear biting, he would do it all. I would definitely have to establish my jab early. And watch out for any attempted waterboarding or extraordinary rendition attempts between rounds.

You have been a great friend to president and Mrs. Bush and it would be an honor to be able to show your name on the list of those who have accepted.

June 7th, 2008- "It's been a core belief of mine that the federal government should stand for killing people" George Bush once didn't say in an interview. "Sometimes that requires an active killing policy, like in Iraq. In other instances, it's best to just let things take their own course, like during Hurricaine Katrina, or health care, where lots of people no doubt are dead because we don't really have a plan."

"I really like dead people" concluded Bush.

Your steadfast support though this often tumultuous period was of enormous help to President and Mrs. Bush.


May 24th, 2008-

You most likely get the idea by now far better than George The Lessor ever will. Nonetheless, let me try to spell it out in a way even he might understand:

Mr. Bush,

I hate you. Every fiber of my being down through the marrow of my bones despises the very thought of your essence. You can have my money when the budget you wrecked with your bullshit tax cuts comes back into balance. When you find those weapons of mass destruction you used to scare the sheeple of this nation into becoming a bloodthirsty lynch mob. When the 100,000 people you killed, who had no part in the fight you started, come back to life. I'll send you a check just as soon as the blood comes off your hands you homicidal, psychopathic, pathetic shell of what a human could be. Your letter came with a certificate "confirming me as a Charter Member" of your presidential center. Please find it enclosed. I'm not telling you what I stained it with.

Sincerely,
Drugmonkey

I figure Cheney will probably ask for a few dollars sometime next month.