What is your name? Can you think of a simpler question? Seriously, I'm used to people who don't have any idea if they've ever set foot in one of the thousands of stores operated by my employer. I've also accepted the fact many people will come to the counter convinced they are at a CVS, which wouldn't be so bad save for the fact I don't and never have worked for CVS. But how the hell can you mess up the question "What is your name?"
The guy did. Took him a good couple of minutes to get the answer out. The education crisis in this country is real and will soon overwhelm us all my friends.
These types of problems are best left to the technicians though, as my massive brainpower is needed for the medical type questions. Like the lady at the blood pressure machine who asked me if a reading of 180 over 130 was too high.
I fired up my superbrain and told her yes, that reading was without a doubt too high. That she needed to see a doctor.
"Well my last reading was 150 over 112, so maybe my pressure isn't really that high."
I told the nice lady that even 150 over 112 was too high, and she really needed to see a doctor.
"But I don't want to see a doctor" was the reply. Unfortunately I was still expected to find a solution to this problem.
So I whipped out my counting spatula, which also doubles as a magic wand, lightly tapped her on the forehead, and sent her on her merry way, telling her she could be secure in the knowledge that her blood pressure would never be a problem again. My only regret was that she just didn't tell me she'd rather not see a doctor right off the bat. Could have saved us both a little time.
While this was going on I overheard a man talking to my trusty technician.
"We don't seem to have any prescriptions for you, was there anything you needed?"
"No."
Why a person comes to the prescription counter when they are not in need of a prescription is one of life's little mysteries. But it happens. More often than you would think. I suspect CVS might be behind it.
There has been a bit of drama in the happy pill room of late amongst the staff. Nothing major. The type of petty politics that will happen when any group of people share a close space together for a few hours every workday. Long story short, there was a bit of a spat between the pharmacy manager and one of the technicians. The same technician who saves the used aluminum soda cans we use during the workday to cash in for the recycling deposit. After the spat, the manager reached into the recycle box, pulled out the two cans she had emptied that day, and put them into the regular garbage. I suspect my pharmacy manager will be promoted soon, and am confident she will fit into the corporate world quite well.
A deaf lady signed "Where's the bathroom?" and I understood her perfectly based only on the look upon her face.
The prescriptions were backed up like a 90 year old man on Oxycontin and I didn't have time for this shit. Have you ever called another store for a prescription transfer and wondered how the hell the person on the other end of the line could possibly have the same license as you? I know you have, and it seems to be happening with increasing regularity. Like the people who don't know what the words "NO REFILLS" on a prescription label could possibly mean though, I've come to accept it. Every once in awhile they still manage to surprise me though. Since this store was on the other side of the country, I was getting some basic information, the kind of thing that happens in every pharmacy, every day of the year.
"So what's your ZIP code?"
"My what?"
"Zip code. The last part of your address."
"Uhhhhhhh.........can you call back later?"
I gave up on the human with a college degree and professional license and looked up the zip code of mystery on my smart phone.
And the machines took a step closer to the day when they will rule us all.
12 comments:
I use my zip code to open my zip locked bags.
Probably an agency pharmacist from three states over that didn't have time for the foolishness, either. Where is that machine that's supposed to make everybody's job easier?
After a few transfer calls like that I remembered to carry the piece of paper from the agency that told me where I was and who I was for the day. It was useful as a map to tell me which interstate exit to head for when they booted me outta there at closing time.
"The prescriptions were backed up like a 90 year old man on Oxycontin..."
BWAHAHAHA! Funny stuff!
One day, I called a WalMart pharmacy and asked for a copy. "A copy of what?" I was asked. Now, I ask for a prescription transfer.
Anon 10:30
Ouch, say 'copy' and it automatically dates your license to Reagan administration or before. That said, it may depend on your state....I think it is New York that allows transfers of only ONE fill at a time. Can't really think of a logical reason, but then again, who knows with Yankees? :-)
It still amazes me how you continue to do it day after day...
It is CVS's fault. They will call relentlessly, automated and store calls, for any prescription that is due in the next week and any that is overdue by a month at least. The result is hordes of people wandering up to the counter thinking something's ready because they saw the number on their phone, but nothing ever really is.
Soooooooo proud of you Drugmonkey....!!!! You still have that touch......
Will you sign my copy of your book?
:)
Congaqween
I can't remember the last time I left a comment, so I decided now's a good time.
One more from the anon driectly preceeding. I must confess my abject adoration for you. You're like P.J. O'Rourke, if he were right.
New York also won't transfer/copy to you if the script hasn't been filled before. How does that make sense? I can transfer the script if they've filled it but not if it's just on file? WTS New York?
As a tech from ny, we know the transfer rules are retarded. We don't like them either. Try telling a college student she has lost all the refills on the birth control we just transferred. You often just get that magical blank stare. And speaking as a Texan, I Don't know what's wrong with the Yankees either. On a bright note, the actual temp outside is -9. Gonna be a good day.
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