Saturday, August 07, 2010

A Plea To The Martini

Please just wash it away.

You used to.

You used to gather up the blackness in my brain and flush it like the winter rains flowing into the sewer.

Please?

I'd feel better and go to sleep happy and wake up feeling like I was born again.

You haven't done that in awhile.

I wish you would.

Because the blackness...is sticking. I don't know what to do to dissolve it.

You used to dissolve it.

I hate you.

A customer told me today I made an important difference. I wish I could believe him. The next one asked me where the milk was.

I wish I could believe him.

I used to know the storm would pass.

Tomorrow I go in for more.

He said to the empty bottle.

11 comments:

r0t said...

Don't ever show up to work drunk.

Trust me.



Actually, I take that back. It's great fun.

Sibyl said...

Once upon a time, I was standing at the counter at a chain pharmacy waiting for one of the register people to notice me. The pharmacist himself came to the front and asked if I needed something. I told him I was there to pick up my medications. He found them for me, asked me if I had any questions about them, and even rang up a few extra things I had in my basket. He smiled the whole time, and I thought he was a really nice guy.

I hope he didn't go home and drown his liver in sorrow because he had to ring up somebody's purchases. It made my day to deal with somebody intelligent instead of a teenager hiding behind the shelves texting her BFF.

Unknown said...

Dear Drugmonkey:

Two words: Kava Kava

Actually, one word: Marijuana. But that's illegal. So try the Kava Kava first.

Love, Just Another Pharmacist From Oregon Who Of Course Is Into Hippie Shit Like Herbalism

belovedparrot said...

Don't take that road, sweetie. Trust me.

Nurse J said...

poetry

Anonymous said...

The poem reminds me of myself
I have been there. In my case I was an alcoholic pharmacist.
When the martini stopped doing what it did, I knew that I would have to do something else.I went to AA only to find a religious organization (finally the Federal Courts agree with me.) I do not have a god, so I quit on my own. Later I discovered that those who quit on their own have the same success as AA. I am proof of that. It has been an incredible path for me. I took care of the drinking and I used psychologists to help me with other problem. Without the martini I discovered a whole new world outside of pharmacy and I have been extremely happy.I have gone from a person who was unhappy with my lot to a very satisfied lot.

Thanks for posting that poem. It sure reminded me of how good that i have it.

Moral Nomad said...

Just keep writing the book. I have been telling myself for 7 years I was going to do the same damn thing. The world of pharmacy sucks you dry. Its very existence relies on you not being able to form coherent words of protest against its indignities. You, my friend, have the talent and seem to have the motivation sapped from so many others. Yes, the blackness is suffocating...But if others are not warned there is no hope. And remember, you shouldn't drink when you write but it is okay to write when you drink.

Anonymous said...

Taking antidepressants? If not, why not?

Anonymous said...

You're a pharmacist! You should know in these situations that you have to increase the dose!

No, seriously, go dry for a month,
and get on an SSRI. And recognize that all these things that you scorn in the world are the comic result of the interaction of many people with many different ideas, or shortages thereof. Maybe try hospital pharmacy. Please, we all care about you, you don't have to live with all this pain.

Anonymous said...

monkey, you are my pal. i am so glad i am not alone. i am so worried about you. please take care of yourself first.

Anonymous said...

I read this today and it made me cry, because it reminds of myself. :/