Really, has it come to the point where...
......we have to warn people that OxyContin tablets are not the size of your head or else someone might get sued?
"You know Bob, I like the message here, the people over at Purdue Pharma like it, but....."
"Yes?"
"It's just that BillyJo Radley vs. CVS did set a precedent that exaggerating the size of an OxyContin tablet can leave a corporation liable for damages"
Christ on a cracker the more I think about this the more annoyed I get. I'm going to bed.
8 comments:
But the tablets ARE pretty close to actual size. The not-patients are just freakishly small.
i must say, those not-patients look nothing like the actual patients...hahaha
Yeah, but if you CAN find one of the rare oxys that are the size of a birthday cake, you'll be pain free for the better part of a year. And by "pain free", I mean "higher than the cheap seats at a Grateful Dead Concert."
Who needs the drug companies? I switched to heroin.
It would appear that 60% of pretend female patients require a dose divisible by 15.
... and while we're at it, let us state for the record that when we say "individualize" we are referring to "doses" and not individual people, though it is our intention to make you feel as if this is something that we are doing for you personally, as if you and yo your pain were actually as important and specific to us as it is to you.
We just want your money and are manufacturing mass quantities of OxyContin in increasing doses to get that money. Trust us when we say that if you take this drug long enough you'll be needing bigger doses (wink, wink).
The way I look at it, that line is only going to save you a headache one day.
Some guy is going to come in with his Oxycontin bottle, a copy of the ad, and start complaining that you ripped him off because you gave him these tiny little pills instead of the jackpot-sized ones in the picture.
If the line in question weren't there, you'd try and logically argue that no pills are really that big. You'd get into a big argument, with yelling and screaming, and eventually he'd threaten you and you'd call the police.
It'll be much more simple when you can just point to the ad, show him where it says "not actual size," and skip straight to the threats and the calling of police.
Love how they look nothing like your typical Oxycontin loving patient.
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