Tuesday, May 03, 2011

If I Were Emperor Of The World, This Is What Would Happen, Which Is One Of The Reasons I'll Never Be Emperor Of The World.

Let me be clear. I will shed no tears for Osama Bin Laden. If there is a God or Buddha or Zeus or any kind of supernatural karmic force in the universe, Osama Bin Laden is rotting in hell where he belongs. He met a violent end and was shown no mercy, which is as it should be.

But to my friends in Afghanistan I would say I'm sorry. I'm sorry we put you through this while we were chasing after this guy. Ten thousand of you who didn't ask for any of this are now dead, three times as many people than were killed on 9/11. Many times more have been maimed, shattered, scarred and devastated. And every person directly affected had a mother, a father, a wife or daughter or son. A best friend or lover. That's a lot of bad karma in motion.

This is my promise to you though. The bad karma is broken tonight. Osama Bin Laden was blowback from our policy of arming the Taliban in order to gain an advantage in the global chess game we were playing with the Soviet Union, and there will be no more blowback. From this day forward your affairs are yours, and the only business we will mind will be our own. If you would like a friend to help you progress towards a modern, sophisticated society and all the advantages in daily life it provides, we will be happy to be one. If you prefer to have no further dealings with us, your decision will be respected. No longer will we intervene to pick winners or losers among the people who seek to govern you or anyone else in the world. From this day on you are truly independent, which means you are free to make bad decisions. May you choose wisely.

Because there could be no better memorial to the people who died on 9/11 than a world in which the next Osama Bin laden finds it impossible to get any recruits. From this day forward that is the world we are working towards.

And to my friends in Iraq, I'll say this. That last guy was an idiot. Seriously stupid. You kinda have to live here to understand what happened and even then it's a little hard to comprehend. Hopefully we have learned what happens when one so dumb is given so much power. We're very, very, sorry. If there is a God or Buddha or Zeus or any kind of supernatural karmic force in the universe, one day George Bush will be sharing a room in hell with Osama Bin Laden.

Peace be with you.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like. Like. Like.

I remember when my younger brother turned 18 (after 9/11) and after Bush started pushing hard for people to enlist. I was afraid he'd eventually be drafted for this pointless war. Since then I've been afraid we'd never get out. Bin Laden's death isn't the end, clearly. But it is the beginning of something that will hopefully get our men and women out of a warzone and back into their homes. I feel it's all we can hope at this point. How sad is that?

Anonymous said...

Is a modern, sophisticated society one that cheers like they just won the world hockey tournament at the death of an enemy?

Anonymous said...

To answer the question above from Anonymous: YES

Anonymous said...

I second that YES, and refer you to this: http://www.theonion.com/articles/violent-death-of-human-being-terrific-news-for-onc,20294/?utm_medium=promobar&utm_campaign=recirculation

Bluedahlia said...

And I say "no". The frat boy mentality makes me sick to watch and listen to.
I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.
Honestly, how do you think that this is going to change what is going on with Americans today? Really? Does it solve the problems we face? No. Our macerated egos need something to cheer, esp since our country is falling farther and farther into the abyss. People feel hopeless and need something to cheer, but it is a hollow thing.
""Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. ... The chain reaction of evil—hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars—must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anonymous said...

First..I hope Mr. Ben Ladeen's virgins are all fat, ugly and mouthy. Second..fortunately for us the global outlook of the average RPH is almost irreconcilable from that of say....a SEAL Team dude. Third..anything we turned over to fight the Ruskies (esp.Stingers)is long junk. It was just bad luck that Bush was prez when NYC got hit. Two borderline criminals (Rummie Cheney) guided him into Iraq for who knows what reasons when we (I use "we" loosely)should have charged straight TO Afghanistan. How do you propose to secure the "special items" present in Paki? Iraq? Unfortunate....Afgstan? probably imperative.
Rex

Anonymous said...

In case you haven't heard, that MLK quote is bogus. Furthermore, this is exactly what we as a country needed right now. Any ray of hope and reason for rejoicing is a positive in these anxious times.

Bluedahlia said...

The MLK quote I used is not bogus. Dig a little deeper and react a little less. Try reading a book once in a while, too. I get that you need a team america to cheer. I think I already stated that.