Thursday, August 27, 2009

From The "You Learn Something Every Day" File.

In today's mailbag:

Subject: About the Spock choice on your poll

Someone may have already brought this up...

but on your "You Must Have Sex With One," you failed to mention whether or not Spock was undergoing pon farr. Pon farr occurs once every 7 years for a Vulcan, and during that time, they are sex-crazed maniacs. Any other time, the emotions are subdued.

Huh. I gotta be honest, when I made that poll I was just thinking those ears would be kinda hot. Would totally fit the "every once in awhile you need something weird and unusual" bill. I won't tell you what my last weird and unusual was, but it wouldn't compare to a sex crazed Vulcan, that I know. Suddenly I can't get the image of a sex crazed Vulcan out of my head.

And please stop voting for Mary Ann. Simple-ass farm girl would never be good for anything other than 5 minutes of missionary and you know it. Ginger would rock your world.

Back to pharmacy soon. I promise. I still owe you guys the post about Big Pharma ghost written research papers. In the meantime go to your Congressperson's town hall meeting and scream at the top of your lungs that they are a Nazi unless they pass a health reform package that incorporates a single payer government run plan.

Single payer would save us money you know.

And provide better care.

Medicare is a single payer government run health program. Go out and try to find me some Medicare horror stories that'll compare with the ones I can tell you about Aetna.

Or Humana.

Or United Health Care.

You get the picture. Go yell at your Congressperson now.


Annapolitan said...

I am one of the ones who chose Mary Ann. (And I'm a straight woman.) Mary Ann just seems more accessible than the others, and more optimistic. Plus the postcoital smorgasbord of banana and coconut cream pies that she would bake for us would be awesome.

Spock struck me as too emotionally inaccessible. I've had enough of those types of guys. Though I would probably choose him if I could be sure to get him during pon farr. Does "sex crazed" mean that he become a little more emotional? Because I think a sex-crazed Spock who was a little more emotional would be irresistible.

Captain Kirk: he romanced his way across the galaxy with every female(ish) alien and knowing that, I couldn't be sure he wouldn't have picked up some sort of sexually transmitted disease. Plus there's the whole thing about being another just another notch on his bedpost. How could I possibly compete with a seven-input girl? No thanks.

Urkel was a possibility but he's too young. I'd want to mother him instead of boinking him. Plus, he seemed rather excitable and I'm not entirely sure an orgasm wouldn't kill him.

Ginger? Not really my type. She always struck me as insecure, which explained her overly seductive manner, her obsession with her appearance and her need for male attention and approval.

pacalaga said...

Why must we pick just one?

Oh, and I wrote to my congresspersons, and Jon Kyl wrote back to tell me that Government Health Care would be the death of us all, and spouted all the same crap that they've been trying to trick the sheep with since it came up. Way to listen to your constituents, Jonnie. I didn't ask for your fatherly protection, I asked for you to do the job I pay you for.

Beloved Parrot said...

Oh yeah, I wrote our senators, too -- Mitch McConnell wrote back and said government health care would deprive millions of people of health care. And, oh yeah, I'm an idiot if I think otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Senator Lugar's reply seemed essentially that health care matters should take a backseat to more pressing issues of resolving the recession, and Congressman Steve Buyer's reply was rather a kick in the teeth against 'government'-sponsored health care measures by suggesting the matter was allayed for the time-being with 'strengthening the doctor-patient relationship in supporting small business insurance initiatives since 50% of Americans do not pay taxes, etc.' He and his wife have received rather handsome financial 'incentives' from several major drug companies here in Indiana--though I'm not sure that any of it was from home-grown Lilly. So, they both get return mail.

I thought they were were charged with legislative duties outlined from what we had to memorize from high school civics class "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence,[1] promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

That is, insurance premiums have gone up for everyone who pays them in this country in order to keep up to some percentage of a semblance to costs (and there are a heckalot of folks out there that don't have access) and temporary stop-gap patchings here and there are not going to 'fix' a leaky ship, so to speak. Time to roll out a new, sturdier larger ship, if we can stand anymore metaphors.

arollerskatingjam said...

I voted Ginger, I just thought that if I was going to have a lesbian adventure, her curves would be quite the turn on. And she might use that feathery voice to say some really dirty things.

reddog said...

um, Mary Ann is a FARM GIRL, which means she learned the facts of life early and learned them from watching horny barnyard animals. just saying.