There was once a time in this country when you would never go around announcing you were a conservative if you had any desire to be elected to anything.
It's true. When FDR saved capitalism from itself by creating the template for modern liberalism in the 30's, he set up a paradigm that lasted a good half century. Yes, Republicans got elected occasionally, but when they did they did things like warn the nation about the dangers of the military-industrial complex (Eisenhower did that) or create the Environmental Protection Agency, end the war in Vietnam, and open diplomatic channels to Communist China (Nixon did those things)
Mostly though, they lost. And when they talked about how conservative they were they lost in a bloody ass-whooping. Like Barry Goldwater. There was some punk named Reagan who managed to get himself elected governor of California, but no one took him seriously. He was an actor for chrissakes. The punk was replaced by Jerry Brown, a young snot-nose nicknamed "Governor Moonbeam" who presided over the era of lava lamps, key parties, and new age thinking. California in the 70's was a liberal's paradise, and Governor Moonbeam decided he could take the California way to the whole country. He started a campaign for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 1979, staking out a position to the left of Jimmy Carter
I'm gonna stop and let that sink in for a little bit. There was once a time when mainstream, viable, candidates ran for president on a platform to the left of Jimmy Carter. I know none of you youngins believe me when I say this.
The powerful must be mocked though, and the Democratic party, having been pretty much in power for 50 years, was strong enough to take some hits from the real left wing of the populace. There was once a time when there was a real left wing in this country. I swear. The Dead Kennedys provided some of the best mocking. I love the Dead Kennedys. And I love the fact this video was made by some kid in studyhall or something:
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school
Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face
The hippies won't come back you say
Mellow out or you will pay
Mellow out or you will pay!
DIE on organic poison gas
Serpent's egg's already hatched
You will croak, you little clown
When you mess with President Brown
Whhhhaaahhhhaaahhaaaaa......I love poking a little fun at fellow members of the left wing family. It's good to keep the powerful honest, you know?
Except....Governor Moonbeam didn't beat Jimmy Carter. And Jimmy Carter didn't beat the punk that Governor Moonbeam replaced. The title of the next video says it all:
It was, indeed, time for the two minute warning for liberals in America.
You youngins know the world the punk created. Anyone interested in getting themselves elected to anything today would never go around announcing they're a liberal. Democrats get elected occasionally, and when they do they do things like outlaw any federal acknowledgement of gay marriage (Bill Clinton did that) or try to give cover to those who tortured with our tax dollars and in our name (it's one one of the few things I hope you are not successful with Barack)
Meanwhile, there is talk of Governor Moonbeam running for his old job in 2010. Sweet. I love retro stuff, and having a retro Governor would be the ultimate in thrift-shop kick ass. Plus he was once the boy toy of Linda Ronstadt. That alone gets my vote. Being boy toy to a rock star is cooler than anything Schwarzenegger has done.
This post was really just an effort to make something productive out of the fact I sat around and watched Dead Kennedy videos on YouTube all day. I love the Dead Kennedys.
6 comments:
Always thought "Pull My Strings" was more apropos for politicians.
Perhaps Obama will be a change from the "small d" Democrats of recent times. If not, I hear Jello Biafra will be seeking the Green Party nomination again in 2012. I'd vote for him. (If I was American.)
Sadly, they don't make 'em like the Dead Kennedys anymore. Nowadays we get bombarded by the likes of Asher Roth. Yeesh.
(Yes, I'm an old-timer too.)
I remember Linda Ronstadt and I listen to music that belongs in the 60's. Am I a grownup yet?
better than trolling fibro blogs and watching burning man TV on the current channel. That's what I did.When you're 70, the only change people might associate with you is your attends.
I don't know if I'd say that the Democratic party has been in power for the last 50 years... By my figuring, the Republicans held the Presidency for 30 of the last 50 years.
Anonymous,
FDR- elected in 1932
Reagan- 1980
Those were the 50 years I was talking about. Technically 48. You get the idea.
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