Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Good Communication Is Vital If You Are Running A Rouge State.

Because honestly, if you are a member of the axis of evil, you have an image to uphold. You need to sound ominous. Fearsome. You want to send a chill up the spine of the world with your words. When you do something that shows your contempt for civilization, like stomping on the right of free speech by arresting journalists in the midst of their work, you don't want to ruin the moment by saying something like this:

Ms. Ling and Ms. Lee, reporters for Current TV, a San Francisco-based media venture founded by former U.S. Vice President Al Gore, were arrested by the North Korean military on March 17 on charges of illegally crossing the border from China. They were in China to report the plight of North Korean refugees who fled hunger at home and were living in hiding there.

The North’s state-run Korean Central News Agency accused the two of “illegal entry" and said, "their suspected hostile acts have been confirmed by evidence and their statements, according to the results of intermediary investigation conducted by a competent organ.”

"The organ is carrying on its investigation and, at the same time, making a preparation for indicting them at a trial on the basis of the already confirmed suspicions," it said.


Wow. All that work to show the west what a bad-ass you are goes down the drain because you're too cheap to hire a real translator. It's the little things that make champions North Korea. Better luck next time.

Although I gotta admit the thought of being drug from my cramped prison cell to face questioning by a giant, competent pancreas is kinda frightening. I'm assuming it would be a pancreas running the investigation, as I think the pancreas is the most competent organ in the human body. Just kinda does it's thing you know, doesn't really seek any glory like those hot-dogging kidneys. Kidneys are attention whores. And do I really have to say you can't trust the penis in a situation like this? Yeah, I'm thinking this is definitely a case for the pancreas. Maybe the spleen.

Lesson learned, if I ever become the head of a brutal communist dictatorship, and I arrest some journalists, I'm gonna have them proofread the press release announcing their own detention.

Then I'll make a nuclear bomb and cruise the capital looking for chicks. I bet having a nuclear bomb and being dictator of your own country is a total chick magnet.

11 comments:

pacalaga said...

I love the irony of the commentary on the bad translation with the "rouge" state in the title. :-D

Anonymous said...

At least the organs are cute! Check out their interrogation techniques at http://actos.com/actos/home.aspx. The pancreas is female!

Jake Mock said...

Rogue State: Nation that wants to build nuclear weapons.

Rouge State: Nation that really, really likes its makeup.

LOL. Although I do like your post.

midwest woman said...

yeah I've always had the hots for Kim Jong-il...definite chick magnet there and the whole entombing his dad and eternal president thing...that is hot stuff.

DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy said...

pacalaga,

Fixed. thatnks for the copy editing...:)

Anonymous said...

Imagine what these two women must be going through. This should totally be on the from page of the paper and not buried in the back. North Korea has basically taken 2 people hostage. Where are the seal teams, where are the threats, send in the marines.

Scritches.com said...

Oh baby! Show me your bomb!

shrug said...

I think Korea is the Chinese word for "crazy"...


And pancreas? Really? Endocrine AND exocrine gland? Nah, the pancreas totally has a hidden agenda.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, sounds more like a job for the appendix to me.

ThatDeborahGirl said...

I could do so much with the word "dictator" but I'll keep it tame. But I think you're right about tyrannical idiots being chick magnets. I remember how Ahmadinejad was totally taking sexy back before we killed Sadam and starting looking at Iran when we ran of stuff to bomb in Iraq. He had those nice Miami Vice suits and a great tan.

Now he just looks like any old scared dictator. He looks strained and the stress lines and gray hair - well I tell you - what do you expect when you keep trying to build a nuclear bomb and the whole world doesn't want you too? - and it takes effort to pass off the whole shebang as nuclear power effort. How's a man to keep his looks?

He better be nice to his pharmacist cuz the stress is really starting to show.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking instead of a competent, reliable electric organ. The kind your neighbors has with the accompaniment rhythm switches.