Original blogpost airdate, December 17, 2007
If I Were Rudolph The Reindeer, I Would Have Told Santa To Go Fuck Himself.
I would have been like. "You bastards have given me shit my whole life and NOW you want me to bail you out?? You can kiss my reindeer ass"
Then I would have been like "You know, while I was excluded and ostracized all those years, I worked on a few reindeer games of my own, since you would never let me play any of yours" There would be a crazy look in my eye.
Then I would take off and fly around in circles while Dancer and Prancer and the rest of those asswipes sat grounded with all the undeliverable toys on the shipping dock. Every once in awhile I would swoop down and kick them in the head or maybe bite them in the back while yelling "WHAT CHA THINK OF MY NOSE NOW MUTHA FUCKER?? TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF MY NOSE!!!!!"
I guess that wouldn't be a good way to mark Jesus' birthday though. I mean, hell, Jesus would never punish you years after the fact for being a bad person.
I don't think I can take listening to those songs at work for another week.
2 comments:
Dear DrugMonkey,
I stumbled upon your blog on this cold Minnesota evening when a friend of mine shared a link to your "I Realize Today I've Done You A Disservice" post. Working at a chain pharmacy as a tech for the past two years, this definitely resonated with me and I found some humor in the reality that is retail pharmacy. I started reading more of your posts and, as a prospective pharmacy school student, I was wondering if I could get in touch with you (via email perhaps though I believe the link is either disables or broken) about your experiences.
Thank you!
My email addy = drugmonkeyrph at geemail
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