Saturday, April 21, 2012

Free Market Medicine Wins Yet Again.

NEW YORK-  In a stunning defeat for a health care system that promises to cover every citizen at a cost but a fraction of that spent by its neighbor to the south, Canadian drugstore chain Jean Coutu Group cut its losses today on an investment made in American chain Rite Aid Corp. five years ago. 

"Fuck these losers" said CEO and president Fran Coutu as she pressed a button to execute the trade in which 56,000,000 shares of the ailing pillar of American health care were dumped. "I should have done this long ago."

The Jean Coutu Group, which runs 392 stores that somehow survive under the yoke of socialized medicine, earned $182 million dollars Canadian in its last fiscal year, while paying a dividend of 22 cents a share, thereby illustrating the crippling effects of operating under government mandated health care, which include profits, rising revenues, positive return on investments, and people not declaring bankruptcy after having a heart attack.

On this side of the border, Rite Aid lost $564,872,000 last year, somehow unable to coax more dollars from the 50 million Americans with no health insurance.

"We're not sure what we'll do with the piles of money we have lying around" Coutu said in a statement after taking a $290 million loss on its bet on the American way of healthcare. "Maybe buy some travel insurance. I have a trip scheduled to Miami next month and I fear what might happen if I broke my arm or something."

Experts interviewed after the sale pointed out that, in case you missed it, a drugstore chain operates in an environment of socialized medicine and makes a healthy profit. They also added that you probably wouldn't notice or remember, no matter how many times you were told.

Reached for comment, you blathered something about Obamacare that didn't make any sense and were ignoring chest pains, as you really don't need any more bills this month.


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm only 30, probably can rule out cardiac origin by that alone..... The chest pains are probably just pleurisy anyway-- it's not like they can do anything bout that. Anyway my high deductible plan would make it super expensive.

joshpharm said...

As an Australian I don't understand this whole 'health insurance' on medicines thing. Medicare either pays most of it or it doesn't over here.

The very least a country can do for it's citizens is provide schools, clean water and access to affordable health care/and free for emergencies.

HD M0 1B said...

I've missed your brilliant insight, DM. I must admit, as a fellow pharmacist, you almost have me converted. Keep the bullets coming, please.

Anonymous said...

There is a major element missing in your post: in Québec (where Jean Coutu is) only a pharmacist (or a corporation of them) are allowed to own a pharmacy or operate one if the space is rented. The profits generated by the pharmacy(not the front store) cannot be shared with non pharmacists and all the business contracts involving the pharmacy are accessible to Board Inspectors. The Government of Québec has determined a long time ago (as their French counterpart) that the impact of Pharmacy on people is way too important to leave it solely into the hands of commercial interests.

Stavros Krysiak said...

Should I vote for Rite Aid endorsed presidential candidate or Obama? It's really not a tough choice. The press is acting like the outcome depends upon how much each candidate has to spend for the election. Maybe common sense will win this time.

They should make CEO pay attached to profits and loses. In this case the Rite Aid CEO would have to pay back more than he earned. Otherwise I will apply for the position. I can get paid million and run the company into the ground without trying very hard.

Anonymous said...

Can I have an email address to contact you at please?

SK said...

You mean a Canadian government healthcare agency made a profit off the backs of hard-working taxpayers?

How many JCG offices are there compared to Rite-Aid?

Since JCG is a government agent, they probably don't have competition like Rite-Aid has here in the (pre-Obama) Land of Liberty.

I have no doubt that once Obamacare is implemented and the healthcare industry is nationalized, Rite-Aid will be appointed the official pharmacy for the People's Democrat Republic of America. Without CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, Publix, and other pharmacies to compete with, I'm sure Rite-Aid will make money hand over fist.

Historically Crazy said...

Pharmacy costs aren't covered under Canadian Health Services, nor do we have free government plans that pay for drugs. That's still insurance or out of pocket.
Although it is true that our health system seems to run quite a bit smoother!

Anonymous said...

Down with socialized medicine! Keep government's hands off my Medicare!

Healthcare will only be protected when access to it is determined by whether or not your employer provides you a plan, as it says in the Bible and as our founding fathers, such as Christopher Columbus and Abraham Lincoln, prescribed in the constitution.

We must ensure the market for healthcare remains free... by restricting access to it! Woo! Traditional values! Down with government monopolies! And yay to corporate monopolies!

DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy said...

Anonymous 7:15- Look to the right of the blog page. See where it says "Got something on your mind?" Click the link.