Not to mention the Actonel kitchen timer. I made cookies once using the Actonel kitchen timer and they turned out perfectly. They wouldn't have otherwise. Big Pharma corruption was improving the quality of my life, and I knew it even if I wouldn't admit it at the time.
Fortunately the pharmaceutical industry saw the tangled web they were weaving and saved me from myself. Its been almost three years now since they stopped the flow of pens, saving us both from even the appearance of impropriety.
Thank God. Now I am free to read the morning paper in peace.
Several companies, pressured by Congress or required by legal settlements, have started to reveal the names of the doctors they've paid to deliver promotional talks or serve as consultants.
What? Paid? Like money? Nooooooooooo....surely they mean things like Zantac toboggan hats .
Among the top-paid speakers from that sampling was Santa Monica pain physician Gerald Sacks. Since 2009, he has earned at least $522,113 giving promotional talks and consulting for four companies, according to the data.
Wait. That's half a million dollars.
Sacks, an anesthesiologist, isn't a leader in prominent pain medicine societies, and several top pain physicians told us they hadn't heard of him. He doesn't work in an academic medical center such as UCLA or USC. He hasn't published much research. We tried to talk to him about what he was paid for, but he didn't return numerous messages.
Sacks' slides from a 2008 educational talk and 2009 presentation before the U.S. Food and Drug Administration describe him as the director of pain management at St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica. A hospital spokesman said Sacks has never held that title and that his pain clinic is not part of the hospital. He does have the ability to admit and treat patients at St. John's.
Drug firms have a pretty fair idea of whether their investment in doctors like Sacks pays off. They pay millions to researchers who buy data from pharmacies and track the prescribing habits of doctors. Pfizer, which gave Sacks at least $318,250 for speaking in 2009 and 2010, according to its data, could find out if and how often he gave patients Lyrica and Celebrex, two of the company's pain medications. Firms can also track whether and how often the people who attended such talks prescribed the drugs that were discussed.
Yet somehow the problem was my copy of 2000 World Series highlights with a Claritin sticker on the side. Dr. Christian Erik Sandrock of Sacramento gets $156,000 from Pfizer and I'm the one that has to be stopped.
Really.
So the post that I started in such a positive way, with a realization that a boost of self esteem was in order, ends with the realization that I am not even a good whore. I feel better at least, about the Whole Foods cupcakes my Lilly rep snuck in last week.
Go Humalog.
9 comments:
Amen. I miss my free pens.
I hope you are faithfully affixing proof of purchase to each one of those pens. You wouldn't want The Shrink Police to think that you stole such frivolous luxuries from your employer!
Despite a tendency to remove the stickers off bananas, I'm afraid I don't pay attention to ads on pens; rather I note if they're any good. I hide the ones that are light enough or heavy enough to provide a nice writing line without too much exertion.
Until the companies that make geeky pens began to be a big business (ones that light up, have floating things, contain a miniature useful product, or make sounds), my interest was on factors of the ink filler--fine-point, refillable (and available in the stationary department of local grocery store), retractable, etc. I paid about as much attention to the logo as the black US Government pens which fit my qualifications except for inordinately small amount of ink (must've been meant to minimize remorse if accidentally lost), and the metal pocket clip which was was usually too sharp or broke off too easily from the plastic. By the way, I easily identified these pens because I had a tendency to chew on them, and they tasted 'bad'. I usually found them at libraries or gas stations. 'Nasty' probably described them better considering who-all had them in their possession before I got my grubby hands on one.
My latest favorite pen is one that I've had for going on four years, now, a yellow and pink number that is heavy enough with a large-enough ink capacity to do the job and provide defense if used for self-defense. When I work at one shop, the other pharmacist reminds me that if her version of it is missing, she'll know who has it. I have no recollection of the name on it. I store mine in a favorite drug mug (I don't recall the ad, but it is a nice size and goes with the computer decor). The day that it writes no more will be a tiny loss in the whole scheme of things.
OT: Got my free flu shot at my med clinic today. I thought of you, Drug Monkey, and all the other pharmacists out there under pressure to sell as many flu shots as you can. Did I mention mine was free?
i miss the counting trays and spatulas all i can order are the short fat ones and trays that fall apart if you drop them (come with cheap blue spatulas that no person in their right mind would even try to count with) hate the allegra calculator what the hell made them think we need a calculator the size of our friggin heads
I miss the hand sanitizer and the stress balls.
I think my favorite was the Vagifem golf club covers. Classy.
The other day, I saw a Boniva pen at my local coffee shop and asked the cashier if I could have it Total score.
Thank you for telling me about the database tracking doctors' freebies. I found out a certain doctor of mine received quite a bit in meals. As in, why does it seem to equal twice as much as a normal person eats during a day?
Anyhoo, now I know what smells so damn delicious whilst waiting for two hours for my exam.
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