Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.

Come someone answer me a question? I think we can all agree there are truly evil people in this world. Not just a CEO who says he wants his life back when 11 of his employees have lost theirs. No. It totally gets worse than him. There are genocidal manics on this planet. Serial killers who will slice you open just for the sheer joy of killing as opposed to in the service of the corporation's bottom line. Charles Manson. The list of truly sick, demented, twisted people without a single thing good inside of them is a long one.

So why does Karma decide to get all over my shit for making fun of a guy in a wheelchair? And only in my head? And when the guy really did look funny struggling against the uphill grade of my employer's parking lot?

I saw wheelchair guy and snickered on my way into the store and within 10 minutes had a customer try to pay for $1800 worth of medications with a check. Yes, I said $1800. A check of that amount will set off buzzers and sirens and all other sorts of alarms with my employer's point of sale software, which makes a big 'ol mess the assistant manager has to try to straighten out. He has to call some money-type place to get the check approved, which means he has to wade through the money-type place's voicemail and listen to their assurance that his call is very important to them before he ever gets a chance to find out the fate of the $1800 check. It took a good 10 minutes, seriously. Then the register crashed. Then when they rebooted the register the receipt didn't print, and the guy, kinda understandably, really wanted a receipt for his $1800 check. You can imagine how this was going over with the customers waiting in line behind check man. I looked over at the other side of the pharmacy and saw Karma staring at me, her face a reminder that when fucked with she can indeed be a bitch. I started to launch a protest but Karma reminded me I was still on probation from an earlier incident and then vanished in the blink of an eye.

We don't have to get into the details of the earlier incident, but I can assure you it had nothing to do with serial killing. Fate is unfair to me, yet I struggle on. While the manager had his hands full trying to handle the money, I tried to soothe the backlog of waiting customers by doing professional things like explaining to a little old man that there was no Vitamin D in Claritin-D, and so while, yes, I understood that his doctor told him to get some Vitamin D, there was no need for him to wait in the pharmacy line for it. I'd like to think I earned a point back with Karma for that one.

A customer asked my non-regular technician if the prescription he was dropping off was legible. The non-regular tech did what he usually does when he is asked a question, which is slowly walk over to me and repeat it, usually without losing too much in translation.

"Drugmonkey, is this legible?"

"Can you read it?"

"Yes"

"There you go"

"So, is it legible?"

It would be a long two hours until my keystone tech showed up.

There were some legibility issues with a prescription later on that day, for those of you not in the profession, I'll tell you the Latin abbreviation for "every day," QD, is precariously close to that for "four times a day," QID. It's usually not a problem, but there was a little question on this one.

"Ma'am, you usually take these just once a day, is that right?"

"NO, I JUST TAKE ONE AT BEDTIME!!!!!!!!"

Properly berated, I resisted the temptation to type the easy to mistake overdose on her label, being on the very thin ice with Karma I already evidently was.

My keystone tech came in and fielded this question from the first customer she waited on:

"This says 'flexible foam,' what does that mean?"

"Well, it's like foamy, and it's flexible"

My keystone tech has a gift to be able to say such things in a way that customers will find them to be perfectly acceptable answers. God I love my keystone tech.

She can't be everywhere at once though, and sometimes I have to slide over and man the cash  register when no one else is around.

"I THINK THIS WOULD BE LESS IF I HAD PRESCRIPTION INSURANCE!!" The fat man said in a heavy Russian accent. "WHAT IS PRESCRIPTION INSURANCE?? I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH THIS. YOU CAN GET ME SOME, YES??"

I looked up and saw Karma standing behind the man giggling. She was just fucking with me now. The way my cat Spooky does an injured mouse.

Which is why when I saw the second wheelchair guy, who also looked very funny trying to navigate the store aisles mind you, I knew exactly what to do. I asked him if there was anything in the store he needed help finding. That may have been the only time in the four years I have spent with my current employer I have ever volunteered to help a customer find something.

Which I expect will get me off the hook with Karma. As unfairly as she treats me, I know better than to fight her. I'll find out tomorrow.