Wednesday, December 02, 2009

News Analysis: Reaction To Obama's War Plans Generally Positive Among Fellow Peace Prize Winners.

OSLO, NORWAY (Drugmonkey News Service) - Reaction to President Obama's announcement of an escalation to the American war in Afghanistan was generally positive among past recipients of The Nobel Peace Prize, catching most analysts by surprise as this quirky group showed they are not bound by rules of traditional thinking.

"I have learned over the last decade and a half of my life that the best way to defeat an enemy is through total, overwhelming, brute force" said Aung San Suu Kyi, awarded the prize in 1991 for her non-violent resistance to the dictatorial military government of Burma. "To make their wives widows, their children orphans, crying out, naked, in despair and hopelessness, to scatter the bones of your enemy far and wide so that they may never rest even in death"

"Only then can we reach our harmonious potential and flourish in love and respect for our fellow humans" she added.

In South Africa, it was a sentiment echoed by perhaps the most famous of the very elite Peace Prize club.

"If only I had encouraged the members of The African National Congress to rise up in bloody rebellion, to slit the throats of the uninvited settlers of our land and oppressors of our people while they slept, things would be very different in my country today" said Nelson Mandela, who received the prize in 1993 for peacefully bringing down that country's racist and violent Apartheid government. "We could have been engaged in a series of tit-for-tat massacres throughout the countryside, or perhaps even a full scale civil war, and not wasting our time with things like planing for next year's World Cup of football"

"In hindsight, I realize sports are for pussies, and that real men settle their differences with blood" he added.

The Dali Lama, winner of the prize in 1989 in recognition of a lifetime spent in non-violent opposition to the Chinese occupation of Tibet, voiced general support, but sounded a word of warning.

"The path to spiritual Nirvana does not involve setting arbitrary troop withdrawal deadlines" he told Fox News. "To do so only emboldens your enemy and sends a mixed message to your partners and allies. I am very concerned about Mr. Obama's plans to begin leaving Afghanistan in 2011 in the absence of a commitment to verifiable benchmarks of progress, and will be praying for his soul that he stay the course until the job is done."

Obama, who was awarded the prize earlier this year for some reason, said in a statement that he was "pleased to have the support of so many people who truly understand that while the path of peace and non-violence is not always the easiest one to take, ultimately it is the only one that can produce true long term security and build a foundation for a just society in which each and every member can be nourished and achieve their full potential"

"After the path of sending in 30,000 more troops to kick some ass that is."

Reached in heaven, 1964 recipient Dr. Martin Luther King was heard only to be softly weeping.

4 comments:

Từ Thanh Giác said...

The noble peace prize has always been and will forever be a political prize. It is meaningless. When they gave it to Dr. Martin Luther King it was an abnormality.

Anonymous said...

To be fair to Obama, though, he didn't want the Peace Prize, didn't think he deserved the Peace Prize, and only accepted because the alternative would be an international incident. It's not like he is proud of it or anything, he clearly knows it's bullshit but couldn't get out of accepting.

You're kind of implying he wanted the award or was actively promoting peace, here. He never was.

Freida Bee said...

touché.

nicely done.

The Alert Reader said...

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