Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Makers Of Dulcolax See Your Ass As A Penitentiary, And Their Mission As A Humanitarian One.

This, my friends, is an actual ad for the actual laxative Dulcolax, which ran in newspapers and bus stations in Singapore.



I am not making this up. There sit a pack of imprisoned turds, marking time around your asshole until they are, as the text in the corner says, set free by you.

"Well I should start shitting right away" you're probably thinking. My turds have done no crime, and therefore don't deserve to be doing time."

Not so fast there bubs, let me tell you what's gonna happen to those poor turds once that Dulcolax kicks in. It's a stimulant laxative, you see, and in this case, what's stimulated is the smooth muscle of the large intestine.

Which means those poor turds are gonna get crushed as the walls of their prison close in around them. Crushed until there is enough pressure to force them out of that little asshole in the floor. Look at the size of that asshole and look at the size of the turds. It ain't gonna be pretty.

I am going to go to bed now, but not before I say a little prayer for my turds. They are in for an ordeal the torturous quality of which I cannot even imagine.

Godspeed to you, innocent shit.

7 comments:

Alice said...

I'm actually a little impressed at the skill and creativity involved in that ad. And I do think it's nice when psych hospitals have work programs that help disturbed minds find employment.

Miss Margo said...

The ad does deserve some sort of creativity award, but I haven't been as repulsed/revolted/disgusted by an ad since that tonail fungus TV commercial where the fungus-monster lifts up the toenail and jumps inside.

This laxative also gives you horrible cramps, nausea, and watery stool. Check out the reviews on Amazon.

was1 said...

I like the one shithead marking off the days on the wall. They should have embedded corn in some of them.

Anonymous said...

The heads of these poor turds looks amazingly like a soft serve ice cream cone...I'll never eat chocolate again

PharmD Blogger said...

Oh, wow! I mean ouch!! This is hilarious. Thanks for the humor.

girlvet said...

You don't blog often but when you do its worth the wait...

Alice said...

Thank you miss M for alerting me to the somewhat disturbing fact that there are laxative reviews on Amazon. :/