I Miss The Car Talk Guys Already. In Their Honor, I Present This Week's Pharmacy Puzzler. Plus A Joke For All CVS Employees.

It was a horrifying day in the happy little pill room. Scripts were flowing in like the mighty Mississippi.  By phone and fax, by email and in person, the prescriptions were flowing in. The customers were like patrons at a fine French restaurant, attempting to send back each prescription until it was done to their liking. Except, prescriptions are not steaks, and I cannot cook them to please you. I understand your Lipitor co-pay card is emblazoned with a giant $4 on it, and I can see how that would lead a person to believe Pfizer was offering to sell them some Lipitor in exchange for four dollars. But, dear customer, you should understand, Pfizer hates us both. Their scheme was to pit us against each other, by giving you a card that says you will pay $4 and then setting up the terms of the offer so that almost no one pays $4. They then send me out to tell you you owe $23.76, in the hopes that we will mutually destroy each other in the resulting conflict. Because Pfizer would like nothing better than for both of us to die. After they sell you some Lipitor and before they have to pay my claim.

At any rate, amidst the pharmacy chaos, as hell was breaking loose and the whole pill room felt like it was about to blow, the commanding pharmacist said to his trusty tech, "No!! I need the suck 50!!!" and the trusty tech instantly understood and took care of the problem.

What could have just happened?

If you think you know the answer, zap it my way and you'll be eligible for a free copy of my second book, which currently exists only as a 20% completed first draft on my hard drive. Upon publication though, one of the first copies will be on its way to you.

If you know the answer that is. Some hints:

1) "Suck" isn't necessarily spelled the way I have it here.

2) It's not obscene or even the least bit naughty

3) You'll probably have to be in the profession to have a chance of getting it.

Speaking of inside pharmacy jokes, I've got a good one for everyone plugging away for the nation's second largest drug chain. As you're straining to meet your metrics upon threat of termination, as you're sweating over your numbers and obsessing over your stats, take a look at this real quote that appeared in a real newspaper:


"CVS' DeAngelis denied that any production quotas exist for ReadyFill."


They're talking about CVS spokeman Mike DeAngelis, and he seriously told the Los Angeles Times you don't have a production quota for your ReadyFill program. 


BWWWWWWWAAAAHHHHHAAAAHHAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Except, the jokes kinda on you guys really. Sorry about that. Maybe if you solve my puzzler you'll feel better.  


Thanks to the alert reader who tipped me to the Times story.