I Fall Off The Wagon, And In One Fleeting Moment Of Happiness, Become Convinced The World Is Coming To An End.

So 48 hours without alcohol is enough really. Ending a late night at work and not having to go back until mid-afternoon today I really didn't see the point in not starting the scotch a-flowin'. So I popped the cork on a bottle of Laphroaig and put on my favorite Jimi Hendrix vinyl, a live recording from the Isle of Wight festival in 1970. Because of organizational fuckups that day, Jimi didn't take the stage until almost 3 in the morning, and the record has a total 3 in the morning feel about it, which was perfect because that was the approximate time my one-man party got started. Three LP's later, I accidentally opened the curtains and saw this:


I have not altered this picture in any way. It is the result only of me popping my head outside, pressing a button, and trying above all else not to drop the camera out the window. Anyway, once this sight hit my eyes, I came to the only logical conclusion a scotch-fuzzed brain jam packed full of Jimi could.

The gates of hell were opening. This was the end of the world. I was free at last.

O reader, can you even comprehend the complete and total body orgasm this thought sent through me? I mean, not only was the world finally about to know if this was the first or second coming, but I wouldn't have to be at work tomorrow! Who could possibly need a prescription on the day of the Apocalypse? I was about to trade the torments of my customers for the plagues of hell. In the words of George Jefferson, I was moving on up baby!

Then the clouds parted, I passed out, and the alarm went off a few hours later. I went to work as usual.

-A man tried to use his third $20 prescription transfer coupon and argued over the meaning of "limit one per person" for half an hour.

-I was asked 15 times in 45 minutes where the bathroom was.

-An old woman called to say she didn't have her medicine. While she acknowledged that she must have bought it once I told her we had her signature on file as having picked it up less that a week ago, the problem I was supposed to solve was I'M SICK AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING OUT TO THE CAR AND LOOKING FOR IT!

-On the bright side, an Asian dude honest to God bowed to me after asking me something or other about his Flexeril. Maybe things will turn around, or maybe the world will end tonight.

A guy's gotta have dreams.