The developers of a conceptual, ergonomic 9mm handgun -- designed for people crippled by arthritis, muscular dystrophy, or similar conditions that render them too weak to operate normal handguns -- hope it will eventually be considered a Class 1 Medical Device.
"That's pretty fucked up" I hope you're saying to yourselves. And you'd be right.
"But ultimately pretty harmless" you may also be saying. You would be wrong:
Now....I know I've fantasized about keeping a large cache of firearms in my happy pill room for many a year now, but my plan was always to use them on my customers, not to give them to them. 47 million people have no health coverage at all in this country and we're seriously looking at the possibility of spending taxpayer health care dollars for some that do...... on providing them with guns.
Which tells me the way to a minimally acceptable health care system in The United States may be through the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. I must be drunk.
Or the person at the FDA who took this application seriously must be drunk.
Or both.
If the gun were designated as a medical device, doctors could eventually write prescriptions for it and then be reimbursed by Medicare.
Now....I know I've fantasized about keeping a large cache of firearms in my happy pill room for many a year now, but my plan was always to use them on my customers, not to give them to them. 47 million people have no health coverage at all in this country and we're seriously looking at the possibility of spending taxpayer health care dollars for some that do...... on providing them with guns.
Which tells me the way to a minimally acceptable health care system in The United States may be through the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. I must be drunk.
Or the person at the FDA who took this application seriously must be drunk.
Or both.
and just in time for Christmas!! How thoughful...
ReplyDeleteWhere in the world do you come up with all these crazy ideas, Drug Monkey. This has got to be one of the freakiest flights of fantasy ever.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a quadriplegics right to own a firearm? This gun will not help them. Medical funds need to be diverted to develop a gun for them.
ReplyDeleteInsurance insurance? Medicare for pistols?
ReplyDeleteDo we really need any more evidence that we USAmericans are loony?
now we won't just be robbed for our oxycontin, but for our firearms as well. yay!
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to find a gun to fit your needs these days. I wanna go back to school to be an arms prescribing physician. Take this assault rifle with specially designed medical trigger home and call me in the morning
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should read these two articles from the great state of Nebraska:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/18/national/main3271308.shtml
http://omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10506094
If there's two things Nebraskans don't like, it's got to be God and macaroni!!
Man, if they start selling guns at retail pharmacies, I might have to go work for Walgreens again! I may hate retail, but the possibility of having legal firearms behind the counter when the hopped-up oxy seeker comes a-callin' just makes things seem a little more comforting... Although I suppose the job might be slightly jeapordized by a high mortality rate...
ReplyDeleteOn Second thought, I'll stick to the hospital. Less temptation that way :-P
this might make it worse for us for violent crime because of escalation, now we have guns, they will have bigger guns in an itchy and scratch like race. how about a gun for the blind next, like a 360 degree blunderbuss to garantee hitting the target?
ReplyDeleteAh, DM, you know the racket...the money must be in the ammunition....just like the blood sugar monitors.
ReplyDeleteI am speechless...Please tell me this is some kind of late April Fool's joke.
ReplyDeleteGod, what a money maker. Why didn't I think of that!
ReplyDelete"On Second thought, I'll stick to the hospital. Less temptation that way :-P"
ReplyDeleteThe temptation is still there, it just requires more creative thinking to imagine acting on it. Like loading exploding dye packs in pneumatic tubes and sending them off to the units or floors that have been the biggest pains in the ass over the last shift. There, I feel better just thinking about it.
...Wait.
ReplyDeleteLet's give guns to people who's reaction time is slowed by muscular problems?
GENIUS!
"Guy trying to hit on my tech while picking up rx's for his wife. I work in the capital of classiness."
ReplyDeleteI've gotten hit on by guys picking up viagra, valtrex (Bells Palsy?), birth control, prenatal vitamins, you name it. Classy over here, too.
"Like loading exploding dye packs in pneumatic tubes and sending them off to the units or floors that have been the biggest pains in the ass over the last shift."
ReplyDeleteNow there is a great idea. Now if only I had exploding dye packs readily available... great way to say "thanks for ruining my night!" Sadly, I think the ICU would get the dye pack every night, though...
We've had a guy hit on techs.
ReplyDeleteWhile picking up his anti-fungal for jock itch.
I nearly gagged when I read the indication while being forced to listen to him.
Your full-service pharmacy: flu shots and gunshots.
ReplyDeleteDid anyone actually LOOK at this gun?
ReplyDeletehttp://gizmodo.com/5101430/prescription-handguns-for-the-elderly-and-disabled-this-wont-end-well
How long until some senile cataract patient mistakes this thing for their asthma inhaler?