Thursday, December 31, 2009

Here's A Fun New Years Eve Game.

I call it, "Are you smarter than a Congressman?" Specifically, Congressman Joe Barton, who, not surprisingly, is from Texas. Here are some of Congressman Barton's thoughts on global climate change, via Mother Jones magazine:

"Wouldn't it be ironic if in the interest of global warming we mandated massive switches to [wind] energy, which is a finite resource, which slows the winds down, which causes the temperature to go up?...It's just something to think about."

Wind. A finite resource. And if we put up too many windmills it will slow down the wind. The people of Texas elected that man to represent them in Congress. Something to think about indeed.

Along with why we went to all the trouble of the Civil War to keep Texas and the rest of the Stupid South in our country.

Happy New Year.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I Always Knew They Were Up To Something.

Fat. Stupid. Fat. Unwilling to put forth any effort to improve their health except to blame the nearest health care professional when they do not get any better. After they cancel several consecutive appointments that is. Mouth breathing, drool dropping, dimwitted simpletons who, given a choice between inhaling a box of ho-hos and taking a walk to the mailbox, will choose the mailbox every time. After they eat the ho-hos. And as long as "walking to the mailbox" means "riding the lawnmower they never actually use to mow the lawn to the mailbox"

Did I mention fat?

All stereotypes of the typical diabetic I am aware, but anyone in the professions will tell you they're ones that don't come out of nowhere. Now I'm not talking about the type I's here. I really think it's time we come up with another name for type I diabetes, as it is completely unfair to associate them with the type II's, which used to be called adult onset diabetes, until the epidemic of fat-ass kids swept through our nation not so long ago.

Before you say I'm being too hard on the diabetic, if you work in a drugstore, a doctors office, or a food establishment that offers unlimited soda refills,  I want you to make a list of your biggest pain in the ass customers. I have little fear in saying you'll be making a list of predominately diabetics. The diabetic has been a living mockery of the notion that people are capable of making the choices necessary to take care of themselves for decades now, but it's not just about them anymore. From yesterday's New York Times we learn this about new high-tech full body scanners, which are being installed in airports and most likely would have prevented the attempted Christmas Day terror attack on a Detroit bound airliner:

body imaging technology has its limits — the machines cannot, for example, detect objects stowed in bodily orifices or concealed within the folds of an obese person’s flesh.

Concealed within the folds of an obese persons flesh. My God. Every pharmacist reading this has a customer with the potential to smuggle enough explosives onto an airplane to set the entire atmosphere on fire. If they ever become smart enough to act in unison the diabetics could cripple the entire world economy with the possible exception of the high-fructose corn syrup industry. I don't want to live in a world built on corn sweetener and pills that guarantee you'll lose 15lbs while you sleep. We must stop coddling the diabetics before it's too late and they destroy us all.

We should also continue to keep an eye on the Germans.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

What Danced Through My Head Last Night.

In my dream the Leonard Nimoy fundraiser was critical. I was working at a hospital now. I don't know why I left my current job, or if I ever even worked at my current job in my dream world. Dreams are like that. You pretty much live in the present and don't spend a lot of time on memories while you're dreaming.

Evidently the hospital that employed me in my dream world was a non-profit, because they were really excited about the Leonard Nimoy fundraiser, as the money it was going to bring in was vital to maintaining current operations. Leonard was to give a speech, and I was able to watch the proceedings as I worked. I was probably doing something simple like filling carts. I doubt I was dosing Gentamycin or anything since I haven't done that in 17 years. I hear they have computer programs that do that now anyway.

Leonard talked and then his son appeared beside him at the podium. Leonard declared that as soon as his son told him he loved him he would release the night's proceeds to the hospital. A hush of anticipation fell over the room. You could hear a pin drop.

I worked with the same pharmacist in the dreamworld hospital pharmacy that I do in the real world. There was a lot of work to do and I was worried about getting it all done in time. I take great pride in never leaving any prescriptions for the other pharmacist to fill the next morning in the real world, and I was holding myself to the same standard as I slept. I don't know why I do this, as I always end up filling way more prescriptions than anyone else at the pharmacy. I guess that makes me kind of a sucker.

Nimoy's son refused to tell his father he loved him. Well I guess he didn't really refuse. He just stood there, silently. Like he was autistic or something. You could feel the desperation in the room full of people who would have loved Leonard Nimoy with all their hearts if that meant he would release the money and they could keep their jobs.

In the real world I don't even know if Leonard Nimoy has a son.

I looked down at the floor and it was covered with needles. Like the tips of the syringes they use to give injections. The floor was absolutely covered with them and I started to clean them up. I was more worried about cleaning up all the needles than I was about the fact that the hospital was now not to get a single dollar from Leonard Nimoy. Because I never leave work for the pharmacist that comes in after me.

Then I woke up, and it became evident once again that scotch and melatonin aren't the best combination.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Jesus Is So Fucking Inconsiderate.

You know, for someone who professes to love us all, you'd think that maybe the thought our time could be worth a little something might enter Jesus' skull once or twice. That maybe Jesus could tell us, "You know, there's no need to go all out for my birthday. Really. Me and my Dad, the all knowing, omnipotent creator of universes known and unknown, the Deity that can part seas with his breath, move mountains with his pinky and knows the exact number of hairs on your head, I'm sure we'll come up with something. Don't put yourself out just on my account."

"And there is really no need to invent The Clapper to sell in the season of my special day. You work too hard for your money."

That's what my Uncle Harold would say. Uncle Harold always insisted we never make a big deal about his birthday, because that was just the kind of guy Harold was. Unlike this prick Jesus who pretty much ruined my whole week with this Christmas shit.

And by whole week I mean entire month of December. And part of November as well. Traffic gets backed up because of a goddamn parade. People everywhere I want to shop. A big pile of pine trees right where I normally park my car at work. All because this savior of mankind lets it go straight to his head.

I got news for you Jesus. I once saved the life of a mouse we found in the backroom of the store. That's right. Instead of killing it, I captured the little guy and let him loose in the woods in back of the mall. And I don't expect the mouse to buy shit every year for my birthday either. I think maybe I could teach you a thing or two about humility Mr. Son of God.

The sad thing is it's not just me that gets screwed. The entire goddamn planet has to put their lives on hold just for Jesus every year. Fuck it makes me so mad. I got over birthdays when I was like 9, and Jesus still gets all giddy like a girl after 2000 of them? Give me a break.

Buddhism looks better every day. No wonder there are so many Buddhists.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I Can't Help But To Suspect The Involvement Of Karma In This.

From my after work perusal of the day's newspaper:

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- Sacramento firefighters say a man is seriously injured after he started a house fire while apparently burning his divorce papers.
Sacramento Fire Department Capt. Jim Doucette says the man lived with his father...The father tells firefighters his son had been lighting things on fire all night Friday, but none caught until midmorning Saturday when he set his divorce papers aflame.

Nothing says parental love like letting your offspring set fires all night long in your home, and nothing says incompetence like taking all night to catch something on fire. I really didn't come from the world's worst family. I feel better about myself now.

After that course of Karma, I'll add a dash of irony from an unrelated story in the same paper:

A three-car crash...trapped three people in an inverted Ford Escape.

I'm putting up a twenty the editor put in the name of the car model just to see if anyone would notice. I did.

I feel really good about myself now.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

A Random Christmas Memory From An Almost Dead Man.

The last year I worked on Christmas Day I got paid time and a half to fill twelve prescriptions, seven of which were refills called in on the touch tone system with a requested ready time of the next day. My employer isn't always the sharpest knife in the drawer. I mostly worked on a reset of the pharmacy and even cleaned a thing or two, perhaps the last time I have ever cleaned anything at work. I did wait on a couple customers though, one of whom could not have been more Jewish if he had come straight from central casting.

"THEY HAVE YOU WORKING ON CHRISTMAS YOUNG MAN?" he shouted in an incredibly yiddish accent. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO DESERVE SUCH A FATE??"

"Fell out of love and got saddled with an alimony payment" I said. "Maybe with the holiday pay I can afford the good cat food." It was one of my better impromptu quips and we both shared a little chuckle.

"YOU'RE A YOUNG MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART!!" he said as he left.

"And you,...are a living stereotype" I thought to myself as he walked away. And chuckled again. It's not easy to chuckle when you're working on Christmas Day.

That was a few years ago. I forgot all about it until the doctor called this afternoon. Wanted to know the directions on the last morphine prescription that had been dispensed for him.

"I'll have to up that" said the doctor before he hung up. And shortly thereafter a lady was at the counter with an order for 20 milligrams of liquid morphine to be taken by mouth or under the tongue every hour as needed for pain or shortness of breath. Those of you in the professions know that means that'll probably be the last prescription he'll ever get.

Sigh.

He gave me a couple good chuckles on a Christmas Day when I worked for 8 hours and came home to an empty apartment. I don't know much else about him, but I just want to throw that into the Karmasphere.

And hope maybe the Karmasphere takes that into consideration when deciding what happens to him next.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Walgreens. Facing A POWER Shortage?

I can be a little late to things sometimes.

It seems that while I've been busy writing about things like how some customers like to put Rogaine on their penis (please do not put Rogaine on your penis) the biggest player in the retail pharmacy business has been testing the waters with a program that will fundamentally, completely, and forever change the concept of what a drugstore is. Walgreen's calls it their POWER program, and it's been underway for well over a year and a half now in test markets in Florida and Arizona. I blame The Angriest Pharmacist for the fact I'm just getting hip to things. He wrote about it back in May, and if his posts weren't so incredibly boring to try and slog through maybe I would be in the habit of looking at his blog every once in awhile and would have learned about this thing back then.

I kid. You know I love you Angriest. Even though no one would know who you are had you not named yourself after someone else's blog.

Anyway, the POWER program. Before I get into it let me just warn you that everything I know about it I got from digging through miscellaneous blogs and internet forums. Not the most reliable source of information, so don't take anything here as gospel truth, and by all means feel free to send in corrections, but from what I gather the gist of it is to move as much of the prescription filling process off site as possible. This involves large, central fill pharmacies that receive scanned prescriptions and refill orders from several stores, input the data & then either fill them to be delivered back to stores the next day or zap the labels back to the store to be filled by technicians there. Phone calls do not go to your local store, but to a remote call center. That's right. Call your local Walgreen's and you could be talking to someone in a cubicle hundreds of miles away. Drug Utilization Review, (interaction/allergy checking type stuff for those of you not familiar with the lingo) is done at the central fill pharmacy or by a pharmacist working at home. Prior authorizations and insurance rejects are taken care of at the distant central pharmacy cubicles. At the store level, the pharmacist is kept away from the prescription filling process, stationed at the cash register where they are supposed to see the prescription for the first time only when a customer comes to pick it up.

Why would Walgreen's do this? Because a warehouse full of cubicle rats can type in ten thousand sets of prescription data and fill them more quickly, and more importantly, more cheaply, than a dozen sets of pharmacy staff  in various locations around town.

Will it work? That depends on what exactly the force is that lines up against it. Remember that a corporation's primary interest is not just to make money, it is to make more money than last year. If you make $10 billion this year and make only $10 billion the next year, you are a failure in the corporate world. Couple this with the $1.50 (and dropping) prescription insurance dispensing fee, and you can start to make out the handwriting on the wall. Ever since the dawn of capitalism, anyone or anything that has gotten in the way of the corporation and its need to make an extra nickel per share in the next fiscal year has been ruthlessly and mercilessly crushed. So even though it seems to be almost the unanimous opinion of the internet chatterers that these POWER prescriptions are not being filled as accurately as before, that will not stop POWER. Walgreen's, and any other corporation, will pick quicker and cheaper over accurate every time.

By the way, did I mention the part about the massive layoffs of pharmacy technicians and pharmacists? If I know my corporation, the fact that individual store workload might go down 30% will be used as an excuse to reduce staff by 40%, and sure enough, the forums are full of tales of severance packages, voluntary and otherwise, re-interviewing for your old job, and people not making the cut and being let go. Mercilessly crushed he said.

So are we doomed? Not necessarily. Because unlike every other seismic event that has shaken the pharmacy world, there seems to be absolutely nothing in this for the customer other than a pain in the ass. They won't be talking to a person at the store they think they are calling. Pain in the ass. They will be encouraged not to have the audacity to ask for refills the same day they would like to pick them up. This in a business climate where you can have a pair of eyeglasses made in an hour. Pain in the ass. Common insurance rejects, like the 90 day prescription that needs to be billed for a 30 days supply, that take 10 seconds to take care of at store level will now be put in a queue to be dealt with when a cubicle rat gets around to it. Pain in the ass. Now customers will take a certain amount of pain in their asses in return for something, like a lower price, but their tolerance for ass pain is likely to be low when they can have their prescription filled for the exact same copay someplace that isn't asking them to make an appointment to buy 10 Viagra pills.

There is already evidence Walgreen's is finding this out. After setting up their test markets, word is that plans to expand the POWER program have been put on hold until 2011. I used to work for the Pharmacy America Trusts When They Are Too Lazy To Get Out Of Their Car To Pick Up A Prescription, and one thing I took away from the experience was the impression of competence from the top-level, strategic planners at the organization. I'm not kidding you. If Walgreen's can't make this work, than there's no way the company you work for can, and right now there's some doubt as to whether Walgreen's can make this work.

For the sake of the public and the profession, I hope they don't.

Click here and here to read some of the internet forums regarding the POWER program.

Click here and here to read The Angriest Pharmacist's post on the subject.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Fred Eckel Proves Me Wrong.

It was about a week ago I took Fred Eckel, the editor of Pharmacy Times, to task after he implied in his column that the problems of retail pharmacy are mainly the attitudes of retail pharmacists. An out of touch, pompous, smug little ivory tower egghead I said.

But is he, really? Here's an actual picture of the "balloon box" quote from his last column:



Um, yes. Yes he is. I.....I think....(chuckle) maybe the last time this guy may have filled a prescription....wait....hold on......

I can't hold it anymore....

BBBBWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAD NOT REALIZED THE LENGTHS SOME PEOPLE GO TO OBTAIN NARCOTIC MEDICATION???????? BBBBWWWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAA........oh God......can't breathe....must stop laughing to breathe.....

Hey, Fred, you ever hear of or see homeless people? You know, the dudes who stand on the corner and ask you for your change as you walk by? This may amaze you, but almost none of them aspired to do that kind of thing with their lives. Some are mentally ill.....but others....they have lost their friends, their family and their home, everything, literally everything, and are now living a life of filth and pain and misery... because they're desperate for their next fix. That is the length some people will go to to obtain narcotic medication. So while that quote of yours may be an appropriate statement for someone who lives on Mars, I would think it should be an embarrassment for anyone on Earth, and in the pharmacy profession in particular, to utter. Even more so to have published in a magazine. And featured in a way that it is the first thing on the page to grab the attention of the eye.

Or maybe you just think those people are out camping as you drive by. And maybe you really do think customers lose their Vicodin down the sink every third day.

So did Fred spend 5 minutes in a Walgreens to come up with this little brainstorm? No, and here's where it gets even better. Mr. Professor at the Eshelman School of Pharmacy at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill had to find out the extent of people's love of narcotics... at a meeting. Where a study was presented.

I almost feel sorry for him.

"Practical Information For Today's Pharmacist" proclaims the cover of Pharmacy Times, and they let Fred write the opening column in each issue anyway. I look forward to the after-action report from his next meeting, where perhaps he'll learn insurance company co-pays go up, and that makes some customers unhappy.

Goddamn idiot.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Pharmacist Immunizations. Is There Something I'm Missing Here?

So, let me get this straight.

The giant corpro-pharmacy chains would like us to take some free time out of our schedule to learn how to give people immunizations.

Hm, OK, the thought of jabbing something sharp into my customers does have a certain appeal.

And afterwards, they would like us to somehow magically make time in our workday, because there is so much free time in the average retail pharmacists workday mind you, to stop the prescription filling process and jab random numbnuts who give them $30 and decide it's time for a flu shot?

And they expect us to do this, for free? At least that's how it's proposed to work at the corpro-pharmacy that butters my bread. Not one extra dollar in my paycheck. The only incentive provided being I am graciously allowed  to take vacation time to attend the training classes.

Do they think I'm stupid, and have failed to notice the part where they get 30 extra dollars out of the deal, or do they think I'm just insane? Why on earth would I go out of my way to make myself more valuable to them for nothing in return? When I ask them, what I hear are the usual bullshit platitudes about how pharmacists, being the most accessible health care professional, are in a unique position to benefit society by setting up a front line of defense against the annual flu pandemic......blah blah blah......

Which is right of course, but, listening to that answer, I can't help but to think how corporation's willingness to help society seems inexorably linked to how much money is in it for them.

Which is why I will be more than happy to become an immunization-certified pharmacist. And volunteer my services to a public health clinic. The fact you would expect me to donate additional skills and training to you for free, corpro-pharmacy, is an insult to the profession.

Of course, there is nothing new about corpo-pharmacy insulting the profession.

And there is nothing new about the insulted professionals taking it like a pillow chomping bottom.

If you've done this, if you're sticking it to people while getting it stuck to you by the man, for the love of God please explain to me why.

Monday, December 07, 2009

I Fear My Side Of The Story May Not Be Getting Told. A Guest Post By Your Laser Printer.

First off, let me just say I understand the pressure a modern pharmacy is under. To compete in today's prescription drug market one has to be ruthlessly efficient, focused as much as possible on meeting the needs of the customer and providing them with a satisfying health-care experience, while at the same time eliminating non-productive activity and redundancy.

I know you don't believe this right now, but I am here to help.

Do you realize I can print prescription labels almost 10 times as fast as the dot-matrix model which you had the good sense to replace with me? And not only that, my labels are crystal clear, and far easier on the eye, giving your establishment an aura of added professionalism. There is, no doubt, a reason why those old models can be had these days for less than the cost of dinner at Denny's.

Excuse me, but there seems to be something jammed just above my duplex. Would you mind opening me up and clearing that out? I'm afraid I will be unable to work until you do. Thank you very much.

Now, where was I? Oh yes. I'm sure you'll agree the additional speed and clarity.....

Oh dear, I'm sorry, but evidently there was an additional paper jam behind the toner cartridge. How embarrassing. If you could just open me back up we'll be back at work in no time.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

How odd. Neither me nor anyone at my manufacturer's help desk seem to have any idea what that could mean. Perhaps you could look in my owners manual if I came with one. How about we just hit the "clear" button and pretend that never happened.

Now then. As you are well aware I'm sure, I also have the capability of doing far more than printing prescription labels. I also quickly and efficiently print a drug monograph for every prescription you fill, putting vital information into the hands of your customers and enabling the FDA to require a never ending expansion of the number of medguides to be supplied to your customers.  I hear one may be coming soon to warn of the risks of Clarinex, which is slightly more dangerous than water.

I understand your frustration sir, but just as soon as you replace my toner cartridge with a new one, my work will look as good as the day I was installed, making that type of language completely unnecessary. Be sure to box up the old cartridge and send it back though. They are expensive, and I would hate to see you lose your rather substantial recycling deposit.

I haven't even mentioned my ability to print out e-prescriptions and faxes, creating a giant pile of different sized papers you have the opportunity to sort through while quickly trying to put each customer's prescription information in the proper bag. I honestly don't know how you got by back in the day when items from different sources and of different priorities actually printed in separate, pre-sorted places.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

I told you earlier sir, I do not know what that means. Perhaps it has something to do with the persistant black streak I have been putting down the center of the last 200 pages.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

I understand you have a dozen customers waiting sir, but there really was no need to slam the paper tray back in me so hard. Let's think about all the time and money I save you the 80% of the time I am working.

Pardon me, do you smell something burning?

EXCUSE ME! Now kicking my sides is completely uncalled for! I'm afraid if you do not bring your temper under control I will have no choice but to repeatedly overload the circuit breaker that services your entire computer system. Trust me sir, neither one of us would want that.

Because that would stand in the way of progress.

Thank you for understanding.

The Editor Of Pharmacy Times Has It All Figured Out.

From the mailbag:
I am at the end of my rope....as if we aren't overworked our tech hours just got cut by 10! That's about 7%....going into the flu season...are they out of their fucking minds? I truly don't understand how they expect employees to provide any customer service let alone good customer service when we are exhausted and feel completely screwed over. I am looking to switch to anywhere that does less than 1000 rxs a week. I am a quitter...I have been beat. God I hate retail and people, not necessarily in that order.
Thank you for your stories to remind me that I am not alone!

That comment came in awhile back, but in a sense I've been getting it ever since I started my little blog garden. I'm never surprised to read about the working conditions out there, but I am surprised at the number of times I see something along the lines of "I thought I was all alone"

You are not all alone. It's not just your store. It's not just your chain. The profession of pharmacy is on fire and will collapse soon if something doesn't change.

Fred Eckel knows you're not alone as well. He's the editor of the trade magazine Pharmacy Times and he's got the problem all figured out. Here's a snipit from his October Editor's Note column:

On occasion I talk to a pharmacist who has been working for a while and doesn’t feel good about being a pharmacist. He expresses disappointment about choosing pharmacy as a career, wouldn’t do it again, and doesn’t want his children to be pharmacists. Because I personally have really enjoyed being a pharmacist, I wonder whether those disappointed in pharmacy would be disappointed in most jobs. Is the problem more in their attitude rather than in the pharmacy profession?

So Fred Eckel has declared, while sitting on his perch at the University of North Carolina, that the problem in the profession is.....you.

Let me tell you something Fred Eckel. When you get a thousand prescriptions out the door in a day I'll listen to what the fuck you have to say.

But it's not about getting prescriptions out the door the pompous little egghead says:

The days of count and pour, lick and stick pharmacy are going away. Pharmacists who delegate this role to technology or others so that they can help patients make the best use of their medications will be what society needs from their pharmacist. And if that is not why you wanted to become a pharmacist, then maybe you need to rethink why you are a pharmacist.

Huh. So evidently Fred Eckel wants you to have a little conversation with your District Manager that would go something like this:

District manager: We had a compliant about a lady who was very upset you did not leave the pharmacy and personally show her where the milk was.

"Excuse me, I was in the middle of figuring out the correct warfarin dose for a patient based on INR lab data. The days of count and pour, lick and stick are over. So I won't be doing any of those things anymore. I read In Pharmacy Times that it is my sole role to help patients make the best use of their medications"

District Manager: You're fired.

I hate to tell you this Fred Eckel, but no one is paying for anything other than to get the right med to the right patient. At the rate of around $1.50 per prescription for most insurance companies. Do you think that maybe that's what the problem is? Maybe that's why pharmacies have become places that need to crank out five or six hundred prescriptions a day while cutting tech hours? And expecting seven hundred a day next year? After another round of tech hour cuts? Places that give absolutely NO thought to patient care other than creating a little OBRA checkbox to cover our legal asses because patient care doesn't even pay $1.50?

No, of course not. It's all our fault. Because individual pharmacists have so much fucking control over the forces that have painted the profession into the one dollar dispensing fee and four dollar full retail price generic corner. It's certainly not the fault of any of the retail pharmacy corporations that sit on the Board of Advisors to Pharmacy Times and set the working conditions for the profession, now is it?

The whole problem is we just don't want to help patients.

You fucking prick.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

From The "Your Government In Action" File.

First "hiking the Appalachian trail," and now this. If we don't do something soon all the hard work Bill Clinton did in establishing the Democrats as the party of sex will have been for naught:

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist's (R) office has been sending people interested in children's health insurance to a sex chat line. "In a message callers hear when they get put on hold after calling Gov. Charlie Crist, Crist transposes a couple of numbers and turns the phone number for Florida KidCare into the number you'd call for 'hot, horny girls.'" The governor's office has since fixed the error.

Desperate teenage mothers looking for insurance. And sex lines. I can't help but to think of my old friend Romius T, who I'm pretty sure used to live in Florida.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

News Analysis: Reaction To Obama's War Plans Generally Positive Among Fellow Peace Prize Winners.

OSLO, NORWAY (Drugmonkey News Service) - Reaction to President Obama's announcement of an escalation to the American war in Afghanistan was generally positive among past recipients of The Nobel Peace Prize, catching most analysts by surprise as this quirky group showed they are not bound by rules of traditional thinking.

"I have learned over the last decade and a half of my life that the best way to defeat an enemy is through total, overwhelming, brute force" said Aung San Suu Kyi, awarded the prize in 1991 for her non-violent resistance to the dictatorial military government of Burma. "To make their wives widows, their children orphans, crying out, naked, in despair and hopelessness, to scatter the bones of your enemy far and wide so that they may never rest even in death"

"Only then can we reach our harmonious potential and flourish in love and respect for our fellow humans" she added.

In South Africa, it was a sentiment echoed by perhaps the most famous of the very elite Peace Prize club.

"If only I had encouraged the members of The African National Congress to rise up in bloody rebellion, to slit the throats of the uninvited settlers of our land and oppressors of our people while they slept, things would be very different in my country today" said Nelson Mandela, who received the prize in 1993 for peacefully bringing down that country's racist and violent Apartheid government. "We could have been engaged in a series of tit-for-tat massacres throughout the countryside, or perhaps even a full scale civil war, and not wasting our time with things like planing for next year's World Cup of football"

"In hindsight, I realize sports are for pussies, and that real men settle their differences with blood" he added.

The Dali Lama, winner of the prize in 1989 in recognition of a lifetime spent in non-violent opposition to the Chinese occupation of Tibet, voiced general support, but sounded a word of warning.

"The path to spiritual Nirvana does not involve setting arbitrary troop withdrawal deadlines" he told Fox News. "To do so only emboldens your enemy and sends a mixed message to your partners and allies. I am very concerned about Mr. Obama's plans to begin leaving Afghanistan in 2011 in the absence of a commitment to verifiable benchmarks of progress, and will be praying for his soul that he stay the course until the job is done."

Obama, who was awarded the prize earlier this year for some reason, said in a statement that he was "pleased to have the support of so many people who truly understand that while the path of peace and non-violence is not always the easiest one to take, ultimately it is the only one that can produce true long term security and build a foundation for a just society in which each and every member can be nourished and achieve their full potential"

"After the path of sending in 30,000 more troops to kick some ass that is."

Reached in heaven, 1964 recipient Dr. Martin Luther King was heard only to be softly weeping.