Thursday, May 28, 2009

It's A Shame Someone Had To Look Death Right In The Face To Illustrate Points I've Been Making Here For Years.

And it's a shame that that someone wasn't born in Canada, where none of this would have happened. If that were the case I could have spent the day writing about how the utter incompetence of CVS is making my worklife miserable. 

But the story of how I am being penalized for the fuckups of CVS when I do not work for CVS will have to wait. Today you're going to meet Eric De La Cruz. From all accounts I have seen, Eric is a pretty normal 27 year old, except for the fact he developed severe dilated cardiomyopathy. Bad news the dilated cardiomyopathy is. Those of you in the professions already know this means his heart will get progressively weaker until it's transplant or death. 

So Eric was sick, and he was ready to do everything he could to get better. Had he been born in Toronto, or London, or Paris, or Tokyo, that would be the end of this story and I could move on to how CVS sucks pud for making me bail out their sorry asses. Eric had the bad taste to be born in the United States though, where no private insurance company was gonna touch a kid with major heart troubles with a ten foot pole. Eric was placed on Nevada Medicaid. 

"Oh, well that sounds like the end of the story then" You must be saying. "Go ahead and tell us how CVS is ruining your life when you are in no way affiliated with CVS"

Nope. Because Eric was also rude enough to reside in Nevada, where there are no heart transplant centers. Nevada Medicaid will not pay for out of state care. So Eric would just have to die. Two times a court of law told Eric he was just gonna have to die.

That's what happens in the hodge-podge blend of senseless private for profit and 50 separate state government run except for the parts that aren't government run programs that we call a health care system in this country. If you're in the wrong place with the wrong problem you just have to die. 

Which is why I say burn it down. The whole fucking thing. What passes for a health care "system" in this country needs.....to be.....destroyed. Because what would save Eric....his only hope....was the one part of our system that is national socialized medicine. Medicare. 

If Eric could get covered through Medicare, the federally run health care plan that offers universal coverage for the nations oldest and sickest citizens for far less overhead than private plans, he could get back to only worrying about if a compatible heart would become available and the monumental task that is recovering from having a major organ ripped out of your body and replaced. Fortunately for Eric, Medicare is overseen by politicians and not CEO's. Politicians need votes, and when Eric's sister raised a ruckus about the screwing her brother was getting, the politicians realized letting one of their constituents die so publicly might not be the best way to get those votes they need. Eric was granted Medicare coverage. So thanks to his sister and the national socialized medicine part of our health care system, he has a chance. 

It shouldn't have been necessary. The ruckus raising. You shouldn't have to have a sister like Eric's to have a chance to live. Because not everyone has a sister like Eric's.

So burn it down. The whole fucking system. You, and me, and Eric, and everyone else in this country deserve a hell of a lot better. 

CVS sucks.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Second Brush With Anti-Semitism, And Other Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.

"No Arabs will come to this store again!! We will not do business with them ever!"

Believe it or not that customer statement cleared up a lot of confusion on my part. I couldn't for the life of me understand why this man cared so much where his cephalexin came from, but the second he heard it was made by Teva, he hit the roof.  This kind of thing usually only happens with the narcotic seekers. 

But Teva, you see, is headquartered in Israel. A country that can ignite passions stronger than even an opiate addiction. This is why I don't have cable my friends. I was witnessing a combination of CNN and Comedy Central right in front of my eyes for free.

Except the cephalexin was prescribed to treat his daughter's ear infection. Which made the episode a little tragic as well.

So anyway, according to Abdul the Arabs are done with my store. Somehow we'll just have to get by. I hear the Jews have all the money anyway. 

From knowing too much for your own good to not knowing nearly enough. Feeling generous, I asked the nice old lady customer if she would like me to ring up the other items in the cart behind her along with her prescriptions. 

"I don't know" the nice old lady customer said. "Is that my cart?" She seriously had no idea. Cart determination took a good 5 minutes. That was the reward for my generosity. Lesson learned. 

About an hour later a man came up to the counter with the cotton part of a Q-Tip stuck in his ear. Deep into his ear. Evidently I was the only Emergency Room in his PPO network or something. 

The next person told me  they needed a 20 inch Ace bandage and asked if the one labeled "Fits 18 to 21 inches" would work. One extreme to the other seemed to be the theme of the day. 

Around midday a customer told me there was once a NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle. I didn't believe him, but I thought it kinda funny anyway. As the usual assortment of prior auths, refill too soons, and why is my copay so highs piled up, as I spent my day with three people simultaneously demanding my immediate attention while my own dick yearned to trickle, every once in awhile, I would think of a race car driver named Dick Trickle and chuckle. I just looked up Dick Trickle. He is real, and after the morale boosts he gave me on Friday, I cannot help but to believe he is a force for good in this world. 

Of course the day ended with a customer dropping off a prescription at around the 11 hour and 59 minute mark. "The nurse at the emergency room said I should come here because the wait at Walgreen's is always so long." Such was my reward for not being a fuckup

I thought of Dick Trickle, and ended my shift on a note of happiness as I dispensed the last of the day's Jewish antibiotics. 


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

CVS. The Home Of Crazy-Ass Creepy Pharmacists Maybe You Shouldn't Trust.

We may have a winner for the Lloyd Duplantis Jr. "Most Insane Pharmacist Ever" award. To Norwalk, Connecticut we go, via the magic of the internet and thehour.com.

Nine months after The Hour alerted the public that a CVS pharmacist had allegedly used a customer's personal information to post a kinky sex ad on Craigslist about her, police have applied for a warrant for his arrest.

Jonathan Medina -- formerly a pharmacist at the CVS branch on the corner of Westport Avenue and Willard Road -- will be charged with two counts of second-degree harassment and two counts of computer crimes. Police said they believe Medina has left the state of Connecticut.

"Norwalk police prevailed," said the victim, whose name is being withheld by The Hour. "They did everything they could to find him."


Sooooo.....nine months after a crime is committed, the police "prevail" by applying for a warrant for the arrest of someone they think has left the state. I wonder if the standards for police work are a little lower in Connecticut, or if the victim is just incredibly easy to please. Maybe she confused the words "failed" and "prevailed." Just goes to show why everyone should own a good dictionary.

According to the victim, she went to CVS on Aug. 11 at approximately 9:15 p.m. to pick up several prescriptions. When she arrived, Medina allegedly told her there were no refills remaining on two of the medications she takes daily.

The victim said she asked Medina why he hadn't called her doctor to have the prescriptions refilled as many pharmacists will do or advised her earlier in the day when she called that there was a problem.

Medina became rude and then grudgingly agreed to her request for a day's supply of medication until her doctor could be contacted, according to the victim.

But the victim said she was so taken aback by her treatment, she asked for the name and number of Medina's supervisor. She said the pharmacist scrawled the information on a piece of paper and shoved it across the counter at her. That's when she decided to leave.

At 6:30 a.m. the next morning, the victim said she was awakened by a disturbing phone call from an unknown man asking her about the kinky, sexual promises she made in her ad.

Confused, the victim, who is married, at first thought it was a prank until the caller provided personal details that convinced her there was an ad posted on Craigslist.

The victim discovered the headlines for the ad read "Kinky (victim's name) looking for a good time" and "Busty (victim's name) looking for a good time in Norwalk" The ad copy exaggerated certain parts of her body, included offers of nontraditional sex and insinuated the victim was full of sexual stamina by assuring potential men that "twice is nice, if you can."

The ad also told potential partners she would be available "24/7" for them and included her street address and telephone number, which led one man who answered the ad to her door where he was greeted by the victim's angry husband.


Bet that was a little awkward. Just goes to show why you should always call ahead when answering ads for kinky sex on Craigslist.

But seriously, this fuck does something like this over a no refill? A no refill? For Christ's sake dummies who can't keep track of their own refills stopped getting so much as an eye roll from me years ago. I mean really, save something like this for the people who ask why you had to go to college to just stand around and count pills all day, that would be my advice.

Anyway, if you know where this dumbass is, call the Norwalk police at (203) 854-3111, and hope they don't "prevail" 9 months later by applying for a search warrant.

Thanks to the alert reader who tipped me to the story.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Walgreens. The Pharmacy Drug-Crazed Armed Robbers In Washington State Seem To Trust.

Tonight my friends the magic of the Internet will take us to the great Pacific Northwest, specifically to Seattle, home of lots of rain, the legacy of both Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain, and perhaps not surprisingly lots of folks who seem to like their Oxycontin:

It's not the place you'd expect to come face-to-face with a dangerous criminal.

But in record numbers in Washington state, pharmacies are being robbed, and robbers are targeting two big-name chain stores....

Whoever wrote that first line has never worked in a pharmacy a day in their life. 

KING 5 Investigators researched drug store crimes in Washington dating back to 2003. At that time Rite Aid and Walgreens accounted for only 17 percent of hold-ups. Most were at mom- and- pop shops.

But we discovered an astonishing reversal by 2008, when nearly three quarters of robberies happened at Walgreens and Rite Aid.

When not reached for comment, Rite Aid CEO Mary Sammons didn't say "Wow! You...you called us a BIG-NAME chain store! BIG-NAME! My God! Maybe we are going to make it if an actual news reporter says we're BIG-NAME!"

Sammons then didn't announce a new Rite Aid program whereupon any armed robber who held up a Walgreens in the past would be eligible for a $25 gift card the next four times they rob a Rite Aid.

OK I was kidding about that. Kind of. The TV station doing the story did get a written statement from Walgreens though, and being a fair and balanced kind of guy, I thought it might be interesting to play with the cut and paste and let you look at a few things side by side. From Walgreens statement:

Walgreens has almost doubled the number of drug stores it operates in Washington. In 2003, Walgreens operated 65 stores compared to 111 stores now.


Oh, I see, that totally explains why there are way more robberies at Walgreens now.

Except when you read the original story you'll see it doesn't.

...combined, Rite Aid and Walgreens still account for only one fifth of pharmacies statewide.


Now go back up and read the blockquote that says three-quarters of robberies in Washington were at Walgreens or Rite Aid locations. Walgreens hopes you won't, because if you do you'll probably realize three quarters is way bigger than one fifth. And that Walgreens is full of shit.

That was fun. Let's try another. Walgreens says:

Over the last year, all of our stores have been outfitted with profile cameras.

Wow. That makes me feel all secure and stuff. Now to the news story:

Cameras are the number one tool to identify and convict suspects.

While the DEA wouldn't single out any pharmacy, agent Carter said: "It's more often than not that the video is of no value"

When cameras are present they're often pointed at the pharmacy's own employees to guard against internal theft. There isn't much financial incentive to aim those cameras at the robbers.

Pharmacies don't necessarily lose money from robberies of OxyContin, which is the drug stolen in 90 percent of these crimes.

Manufacturer Purdue Pharma, concerned by the refusal of some pharmacies to stock the drug, has a program to pay all insurance deductibles and uninsured OxyContin losses.

Because pharmacies aren't losing money some are slow to upgrade security, exposing employees and customers to the dangers that accompany every desperate robber who walks through the door.

And that makes me feel......like a trusted professional. And a valued member of the corporate team. How non-surprised I was to read those words.

Walgreens employees have been trained on how to detect and react to potential robberies.

Detecting a robbery isn't all that hard. And I'll tell you exactly how Walgreens employees have been trained to react. Give them everything they want. And hope they don't kill you. Robbers have gotten hip to this policy, which is why three quarters of Washington robberies are happening at the big chains and not at independents where things like this can happen:

Mike Donohue runs a small "mom and pop" pharmacy in Seattle's Ballard neighborhood.

His security camera recorded a hooded man earlier this year walking into the pharmacy on the same day Donohue returned from the police station to identify a suspect from an earlier robbery.

"I was in disbelief," Donohue said. "I thought this can't be happening again."

It was, but this time Donohue fought back. When the robber saw Donohue’s Glock 19 handgun, he ran out the pharmacy door.


No word on Donohue's gift card policy. Or if he treats the people he chooses to hire as criminals.

Christ I need a new job.

Thanks to the multiple alert readers who tipped me to the story.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Big Pharma And The Health "Insurance" Industry Come Up With A Comedic Routine That Leaves Me In Stitches.

When I first heard The New York Times was abandoning its long held position as the nation's newspaper of record in favor of a Steven Colbert-like satirical take on the news of the day, I was skeptical. I mean, I understand times are tough in the journalism field, and I understand they probably take a lot of heat from people who think an editorial position slightly left of center makes them a tool of the vast liberal conspiracy I am so desperately searching to join, but really, they are the best paper we have in this country, and abandoning that position to take on papers like The Onion, who excel an the satire, seemed like a risky thing to do. 


WASHINGTON — Doctors, hospitals, drug makers and insurance companies will join President Obama on Monday in announcing their commitment to a sharp reduction in the growth of national health spending, White House officials said Sunday.

The officials said the plan could save $2,500 a year for a family of four in the fifth year and a total of $2 trillion for the nation over 10 years. That could make it less expensive for Congress to enact comprehensive health insurance coverage, a daunting challenge facing the Obama administration.


Drug makers? Insurance Companies? Committed to reducing the growth of national health care spending? Oh my God that's comedy gold!!!!! BBBBBBWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!! The New York Times did it! This was the funniest thing I've read in a paper in ages!

Except I lied to you. It was a real news story. Which makes it even funnier. 

Drug Makers. Committed to reducing the growth of national health care spending. Really? So.....they're gonna stop making bullshit like Paxil CR? Auarlgan? Niravam? Proquin XR

Don't count on it. 


Probably not. But they are very committed to reducing the nation's health care costs. 

And the insurance companies, they'll be giving back the extra $5.2 billion a year they soak the taxpayers for with their bullshit "Medicare Advantage" plans, whose whole purpose was that they would save us money? 

Sure. Just as soon as my cat Spooky learns how to fly.  

Perhaps I'm being too cynical. I mean, according to the Times, Aetna, Humana, UnitedHealth and Wellpoint put out a proposal along these lines clear back in December, right after an election that ended an administration that cared far more about ending lives in the Middle East than saving them at home. They sure didn't seem to come up with many proposals during that administration though. Oops. There goes that cynicism again. Fine. They want savings? Let's see if we can find them some:

1) Eliminate Aetna, Humana, UnitedHealth and Wellpoint.  Replace them with a non-profit system. Savings: $7.5 billion dollars in profit these companies earned off the backs of the ill in 2008.

2) Pay drug companies the same rate for Medicare/Medicaid eligibles as they were being paid before Medicare Part D took over. Savings: $2 billion dollars a year. 

3) End the Medicare Advantage insanity. Savings: $5.2 billion dollars a year. 

Holy crap I just saved almost $15 billion dollars right off the top of my head. I am in a health care savings groove, but you ain't seen nothin' yet. Hang on:

4) Scrap the whole stupid system we have here and make a Xerox copy of Canada's. Savings: $1 trillion dollars. I'm not kidding you. Canada spends about 55% on health care per person compared to what we do. In 2007 we spent $2.4 trillion dollars on health care. Do the math. 

And for those of you who don't like Canada's health care system, I'll point out we could throw in a couple hundred billion dollars to improve it and still be spending a hell of a lot less than we do now. You're getting ripped off, sucker.

Of course the people doing the ripping off don't want you to know this, which is why they are acting like they wanna play nice all the sudden. After you punched them in the nose by electing someone who's threatening to stand up for you. 

See what happens when you punch them? Punch them again. When you hear their happy talk ask them where they've been since they last waxed publicly about their commitment to hold down costs. Which just happened to coincide with Hillary Clinton mounting a credible threat to break their backs. Punch them again. It's all they understand.

And for the love of God do not let the person you elected to stand up for you sit back down. 

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Turnaround Of Epic Proportions At The Professions Leading Trade Mageazine.

Stunned. That's what I was when I received the latest issue of Drug Topics. In one fell swoop the publication has managed to reclaim its position as the undisputed leader in quality pharmacy journalism. 

Actually make that pharmacy commentary. That's where the latest issue really excelled. 

That's all I'm sayin'

Saturday, May 09, 2009

I'm Tired Of Hearing About All The Things My Mother Supposedly Did For Me.

Brought me into the world, changed my smelly diapers.....blah blah blah. Well you know what? I think it's a little funny I have no memory of these so called events taking place. 

My first memories of the world are around the time of Watergate. I remember being on vacation, and after a hard day of threatening to pull the car over and knock some sense into me and my sisters, Dad turning on the TV at the motel and saying something about wanting to hear the latest on Watergate. The TV then warmed up and immediately showed a man falling off a cliff. For years afterward I thought Watergate had something to do with that man falling off the cliff. Little did I know that was a metaphor for our nation. 

Anyway, my point is that the whole Watergate thing started in 1972, reaching a climax with Richard Nixon's resignation in 1974. I supposedly "came into this world" in 1969, which blows a hole a mile wide through this whole mother "brought me in" story.

And diapers. I have no memory of ever wearing one of those things, and I don't see why I ever would have. Going to the bathroom isn't rocket science, and I can't think of a time when I couldn't handle it. Besides, my shit smells like roses, so even if someone did have to change one of these "diapers" I was wearing, I can't imagine it would be anything other than a pleasurable experience. 

I'll tell you something my mother didn't do. Talk me out of going to pharmacy school. As a matter of fact, she seemed rather happy the day I saw a classified ad in the paper and announced I would be a pharmacist because they made a lot of money and "I'm sure I could do that." Pfffft. So now I'm a pharmacist and not a Pulitzer Prize winning novelist. Thanks for that Mom.

I sent her some flowers anyway. Because I don't believe in negativity bringing me down. I suppose you should probably do something for your Mother tomorrow as well. 

Because your shit probably does stink.

 


Monday, May 04, 2009

A History Lesson In California Politics Via YouTube And The Dead Kennedys. I Love The Dead Kennedys.

Pull up a chair and listen to Grandpa Drugmonkey you youngins, cause I'm gonna tell you a tale full of things you're gonna find hard to believe. A tale of things long ago and far away, but things that I swear are true. I'll start with a bombshell:

There was once a time in this country when you would never go around announcing you were a conservative if you had any desire to be elected to anything. 

It's true. When FDR saved capitalism from itself by creating the template for modern liberalism in the 30's, he set up a paradigm that lasted a good half century. Yes, Republicans got elected occasionally, but when they did they did things like warn the nation about the dangers of the military-industrial complex (Eisenhower did that) or create the Environmental Protection Agency, end the war in Vietnam, and open diplomatic channels to Communist China (Nixon did those things)

Mostly though, they lost. And when they talked about how conservative they were they lost in a bloody ass-whooping. Like Barry Goldwater. There was some punk named Reagan who managed to get himself elected governor of California, but no one took him seriously. He was an actor for chrissakes. The punk was replaced by Jerry Brown, a young snot-nose nicknamed "Governor Moonbeam" who presided over the era of lava lamps, key parties, and new age thinking. California in the 70's was a liberal's paradise, and Governor Moonbeam decided he could take the California way to the whole country. He started a campaign for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 1979, staking out a position to the left of Jimmy Carter

I'm gonna stop and let that sink in for a little bit. There was once a time when mainstream, viable, candidates ran for president on a platform to the left of Jimmy Carter. I know none of you youngins believe me when I say this. 

The powerful must be mocked though, and the Democratic party, having been pretty much in power for 50 years, was strong enough to take some hits from the real left wing of the populace. There was once a time when there was a real left wing in this country. I swear. The Dead Kennedys provided some of the best mocking. I love the Dead Kennedys. And I love the fact this video was made by some kid in studyhall or something:



I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school

Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face

The hippies won't come back you say
Mellow out or you will pay
Mellow out or you will pay!

DIE on organic poison gas
Serpent's egg's already hatched
You will croak, you little clown
When you mess with President Brown


Whhhhaaahhhhaaahhaaaaa......I love poking a little fun at fellow members of the left wing family. It's good to keep the powerful honest, you know?

Except....Governor Moonbeam didn't beat Jimmy Carter. And Jimmy Carter didn't beat the punk that Governor Moonbeam replaced. The title of the next video says it all:




It was, indeed, time for the two minute warning for liberals in America.

You youngins know the world the punk created. Anyone interested in getting themselves elected to anything today would never go around announcing they're a liberal. Democrats get elected occasionally, and when they do they do things like outlaw any federal acknowledgement of gay marriage (Bill Clinton did that) or try to give cover to those who tortured with our tax dollars and in our name (it's one one of the few things I hope you are not successful with Barack)

Meanwhile, there is talk of Governor Moonbeam running for his old job in 2010. Sweet. I love retro stuff, and having a retro Governor would be the ultimate in thrift-shop kick ass. Plus he was once the boy toy of Linda Ronstadt. That alone gets my vote. Being boy toy to a rock star is cooler than anything Schwarzenegger has done. 

This post was really just an effort to make something productive out of the fact I sat around and watched Dead Kennedy videos on YouTube all day. I love the Dead Kennedys