Saturday, September 30, 2006

Bayer Decides Not To Bother Telling Anyone That One Of Their Products May Kill You. Your Health, Of Course, Is Their Top Priority

The Drugnazi is very angry tonight. First I start the day reading about a final Senate deal over how much torture is acceptable, then comes the news of U.S. Congressman Mark Foley, chairman of the House caucus on missing and exploited children, resigning his seat due to a little problem concerning

"sexually explicit instant messages involving congressional pages, high school students who are under 18 years of age."

Read a transcript of one of the IM sessions here, and remember this exchange is between a 52 year old member of Congress and a 16 year old boy.

Now I get to end the day with this, from the New York Times:

Bayer A.G., the German pharmaceutical giant, failed to reveal to federal drug officials the results of a large study suggesting that a widely used heart-surgery medicine might increase the risks of death and stroke, the Food and Drug Administration announced Friday.

Bayer scientists even appeared at a public meeting called by the F.D.A. on Sept. 21 to discuss the possibility that the drug, Trasylol, might have serious risks. But they did not mention the study or its worrisome results.

In a highly unusual move, the food and drug agency released a public health advisory saying it had learned of the study’s existence only on Wednesday. Preliminary results of the study demonstrate “that use of Trasylol may increase the chance for death, serious kidney damage, congestive heart failure and strokes,” the advisory said.

A top F.D.A. official said the agency learned of the Trasylol study on Wednesday only after a getting a tip from a researcher involved in it. The official insisted on anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the information.

In a written statement, Bayer said “that it mistakenly did not inform” the F.D.A. of the study


Really? So there was a meeting called specifically to discuss potential safety issues of Trasylol and Bayer "mistakenly" doesn't bring up the fact that it knows the subject of this very meeting:

"may increase the chance for death, serious kidney damage, congestive heart failure and strokes"

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

“This data was not shared immediately with the agency because it was preliminary in nature.” says Bayer.

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

Let's say the meeting had been called to talk about the best way to reduce blood loss during surgery, Trasylol's indication, and Bayer had data that was "preliminary in nature" that it's product worked 0.1% better than drugs that can be used instead. Drugs that also cost less by the way. Is there anyone in the profession, anyone in ANY healthcare profession that is not on the payroll of Big Pharma that believes that Bayer wouldn't have been there with it's "preliminary" data, shoving it in the face of anyone who would listen? That women dressed like high class hookers wouldn't soon have been going into doctors offices all over the country sharing this "preliminary data" with the good doctor with a seductive little wink while buying lunch for the entire office staff? Anyone who thinks this wouldn't happen?

Yet when the data shows that people end up dead Bayer "mistakenly" forgets to tell the people who are asking questions about the dead people.

There was no mistake. Bayer did it because this type of behavior hasn't been specifically outlawed and because it maximizes profits. If it helped their bottom line to just shoot you in the head and there was no law to stop them then they would do that too.

The Drugnazi is angry. You should be as well.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Riding A Jet Ski On A Sea Of Your Urine.....

That is an image some marketing wonk toiling away for Big Pharma thinks will make your doctor prescribe their product. I swear I'm not lying to you.

First, the required background. If you're a guy, there's a decent chance that if you live to be old, you won't be able to pee as you'd like. As many as 90% of men between 70 and 90 will develop symptoms of Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia, or BPH. Translated to English, that means your prostate gland will swell, constricting the tube that leads from your bladder through your wiener. When this happens, you can't get all the pee out of your bladder, so you feel like you have to go all the time, even though you can't. I'm sure it sucks, but would it really lead you to respond to images such as this?


The fire hydrant is self-evident I suppose, if a bit tasteless, but what on earth is up with the jet ski? Are they trying to say your pee-hole will be so relaxed that you could pass out a watercraft? Who are these people who think it's fun to ride a jet ski in this type of environment? Has the Tidy Bowl Man come out of retirement and decided he likes riding around in the sewage itself, instead of above it like he used to? First we have the chuckle inducing drug name Flomax, and now this. Lord only knows what's coming next.

Reasons I've Ended Relationships.....

1) Asked if I could hook her up with some Soma from work.

2) Drove around parking lot for 10 minutes instead of accepting what would have been at most a 30 second walk.

3) Asked me to go to church with her.

4) Told me the thing that surprised her most about Americans was their obsession with cleanliness

5) Wanted children (multiple women)

6) Snored (multiple women)

7) Witnessed an incredibly unladylike display of road rage.

8) Found out she was from Texas.

9) Decided the fact she was extremely hot didn't compensate for the fact she was a Republican.

10) Didn't like the movie "Bowling For Columbine"

11) No real reason (multiple women)

12) Didn't feel like being married anymore.

So ummm....yeah....I may have a bit of a problem with commitment. Although if it doesn't bother me is it really a problem? Lots to ponder tonight while sipping the scotch.....

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Are Republicans The Missing Link? I Report, You Decide




They seem to have a lot in common....I think love might be in the air........

I see now why they're so sensitive about the evolution thing.

Let's Tune Into The Drugnazi's Thoughts For A Few Minutes As He Fills Your Prescription........

...............I think when I end up in hell, I'll spend my time looking for Hitler. Why not? I've got all eternity, you know he'll be there somewhere, and I'll need something to occupy my time.

Override that clinical review screen.

I wonder if he'll have a lot of people around him? I mean being a hell celebrity and all. Maybe that's his punishment, having schleps like me bug him until the end of time.

Shit. NDC number doesn't match. Oh. different manufacturer, it's OK. I'm backed up, I'm not gonna change this one. Breakin' the law......breakin' the law........

You know, I think there would be a certain freedom in being sent to hell. I mean what exactly could they do to you if you tell Satan to go fuck himself? Send you to hell? All the dead Christians are probably walking around on eggshells afraid of pissing off the big guy.

Dammit. This is a bottle of 30 and the label says 90. Gotta send this one back. *sigh*

I've never been able to pronounce the word "woman" the way everyone else does in Appalachia. They say it kinda like "whooaaman." Weird since I grew up there and have no trouble slipping into a hick accent when the occasion arises.

PENICILLIN ALLERGY! DON'T LET THIS ONE OUT OF YOUR SIGHT OR THAT DAMN NEW CLERK WILL SELL IT.

There's a lot of coal in Appalachia. I wonder why the region didn't get rich off of it the way Texas did with oil? Probably because people in Appalachia are really stupid.................

We now return you to your regular programming...........

There Is Still Hope For My Customers -They Are Waking The Brain Dead In South Africa.

With a sleeping pill. I shit you not. I'll let the UK Guardian set the stage:

Across three continents, brain-damaged patients are reporting remarkable improvements after taking a pill that should make them fall asleep but that, instead, appears to be waking up cells in their brains that were thought to have been dead. In the next two months, trials on patients are expected to begin in South Africa aimed at finding out exactly what is going on inside their heads. Because, at the moment, the results are baffling doctors.

The remarkable story of this pill and its active ingredient, zolpidem, begins in 1994 when Louis Viljoen, was hit by a truck while riding his bike. He suffered severe brain injuries that left him in a deep coma. Doctors expected him to die and told his mother, Sienie Engelbrecht, that he would never regain consciousness. "His eyes were open but there was nothing there," says Sienie, a sales rep. "I visited him every day for five years and we would speak to him but there was no recognition, no communication, nothing."


All day long at the store I speak to people and there is no recognition, no communication, nothing. In South Africa evidently this is considered a problem.

A problem closer to being solved not because of anything Big Pharma did in the pursuit of profit, but because:

The hospital ward sister, Lucy Hughes, was periodically concerned that involuntary spasms in Louis's left arm, that resulted in him tearing at his mattress, might be a sign that deep inside he might be uncomfortable. In 1999, five years after Louis's accident, she suggested to Sienie that the family's GP, Dr Wally Nel, be asked to prescribe a sedative. Nel prescribed Stilnox, the brand name in South Africa for zolpidem. "After about 25 minutes, I heard him making a sound like 'mmm'. He hadn't made a sound for five years."

"Then he turned his head in my direction. I said, 'Louis, can you hear me?' And he said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Say hello, Louis', and he said, 'Hello, mummy.' I couldn't believe it. I just cried and cried."

Hughes was called over and other staff members gathered in disbelief. "Sienie told me he was talking and I said he couldn't be - it wasn't possible," she recalls. "Then I heard him. His mother was speechless and so were we. It was a very emotional moment."


Sanofi-Aventis, which holds the original patent on zolpidem (Ambien) which is about to expire, must be thrilled. After all, it says on their web site:

Sanofi-Aventis brings to it's research creativity and innovation, with just one end in view; patient health.


Just one end in view. Hmmmmmmmm.......back to the Guardian:

The company that first developed zolpidem, Sanofi-Aventis, was contacted by Nel and Clauss but appears to have chosen not to become involved in the trials or the use of the drug on brain-damaged patients. Instead, the brain scans on up to 30 patients will be carried out at the Pretoria Academic Hospital by Professor Mike Sathekge, head of nuclear medicine, and Professor Ben Meyer, one of South Africa's most renowned physicians.


When contacted to explain this apparent disconnect between words and actions, Jean-François Dehecq, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Sanofi-Aventis, said:

"Of course what we say on our website is a bunch of horse shit. The market for use of zolpidem in brain damaged patients is projected at $4.3 billion. Now I suppose we could spend our money going after a piece of that, or we could spend next to nothing to get a patent on Ambien CR, and continue to dominate the sleeping pill market, a market projected to be worth $11 billion by 2012. You do the math Einstein"

"A market, incidentally, we can grow with TV commercials and ads in Readers Digest" he added. "You'd have to have one hell of a marketing campaign to convince someone to go out and get a brain injury.*"


So yeah, good things are happening, but just remember what Big Pharma's commitment to patient health was. If you need another clue as to how the industry thinks, here's a cut and paste from an article I came across while hopping around the internet reading about the sleeping pill business:

Another drug on the market, Rozerem, the world's first non-addictive sleeping pill from the Japanese company Takeda, could very well get overlooked given the strength of the blockbuster sedatives, analysts say. Amusa has projected $300 million in sales by 2010, and said the fact it's not addictive is hurting sales.


Someone probably got fired over the fact he was behind bringing a sleeping pill to market that wasn't addictive. Idiot.

*The figures are real. The quotes are my interpretation of what Jean-François Dehecq would say in an alternate universe where no one lied.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

An Open Letter To My Cat.

You've been here a few years now, and you may have noticed that there are parts of our home that are carpeted and parts that are not. Do you think that next time you cough up a hairball, that maybe....just maybe..... you might just consider leaving it somewhere on the 50% of the place that has bare floor? Just once? It might make for a nice change.

And what's with the way you chew my stuff? Holes in my clothes, bedsheets, furniture, even your own freakin' bed. I thought that kind of shit was for dogs. I was very clear at the SPCA that I wasn't interested in a dog, so seriously, there's no need for any inferiority type complex.

I also shower every day, making you licking my arm in the middle of the night when I'm trying to sleep completely unnecessary.

On the other hand, meeting me at the door when I come home from a day of dealing with pill-seeking barbarians is kinda cool. Feel free to continue this.

And the way you fall asleep on your back with your paw raised in what looks like a black-power salute is pretty funny, although I doubt you're aware of the political statement you're making.

...............oh hell...........never mind you furry freak. Just please stop chewing on the electrical cords. You might end up killing us both.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Is Anyone Surprised About This? Anyone?

Some days I feel like a broken record. Or for you kids out there, an Ipod that keeps playing a tiny part of an audio file over and over. From the New Jersey Star-Ledger:

WASHINGTON -- The makers of 193 brand-name drugs most commonly used by older Americans raised their prices on average 6.3 percent during the 12 months ending in June, outpacing the 3.8 percent inflation rate for the period, according to a survey conducted by AARP.


If we go to the AARP report, we'll see that this is nothing new. Since 2000, the general rate of inflation has been exactly 20%. Brand name drug prices have gone up during the same time period by 41.3%, more than twice the rate of general inflation. How does Big Pharma justify this? They accuse the AARP of lying without providing any proof, then try a bit of razzle dazzle to make you believe their accusation. Back to the Star-Ledger:

The Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, the trade group for the big brand-name drug makers, said "AARP's allegations about pharmaceutical inflation are inaccurate."


There's the accusation of lying, and here's how they back it up:

PhRMA Vice President Ken Johnson said other studies have shown prescription drug price hikes have been in line with overall medical inflation since 2003.


"Wow", some of you might be saying, "it really does look like AARP is full of crap." Others of you might have caught the razzle-dazzle wordplay that is supposed to mislead you. It's one word in the above quote, "medical." Ken Johnson pulled it out of his ass to throw you off the "we're ripping you off" trail. The AARP is comparing drug prices to the overall rate of inflation. Ken Johnson says they are inaccurate by comparing drug prices to medical inflation. Ken Johnson either:

1) Is too dumb to know the difference between overall and medical inflation, or

2) Was hoping you wouldn't notice how he tried to back up his accusation of AARP lies by being misleading himself.

I called the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America at (202) 835-3460 to try and find out which one it was. I got a recording of a nice-sounding lady who invited me to leave a message. She also promised to return my call. She never did. So not only do they lie about other groups being liars, they're kinda rude.

Just in case you think these price increases are necessary to fund all that complicated research Big Pharma does, I'll throw in two more things:

Separately, Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) and a group of Democrats released a report that found profits for the 10 largest pharmaceutical companies jumped more than $8 billion during the first half of 2006, a 27 percent increase.

Seems like the extra money is flowing right into the bottom line, because new drugs aren't happening. Twenty drugs were cleared by the Food & Drug Administration last year, down from 53 a decade ago.

Paying more, getting less. It's a wonderful Big Pharma type of world.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Mislabeled, Misunderstood Aisle 4

The fourth aisle in our store has an identity crisis. While it is secure about who it is, being right there where it feels it needs to be, between aisles 3 and 5, my employer decided to add a bit of mystery to it's life and has left the actual number off of the sign that hangs from the ceiling telling the weary consumer what is offered on it's shelves. Those of you that don't work with the general public would be surprised how much effort this adds to the average shoppers experience. Those of you who do probably have a good idea of the chaos that ensues.

Unfortunately aisle 4 is where most of the OTC medicines are found, which means that it often falls to me to guide the public around this obstacle placed in the way of the people's money making it's way to corporate headquarters. I start off with the simplest explanation, always hoping against hope that it will work. "It's on aisle 4, on the right hand side on the bottom shelf"

It never does. invariably the customer will look to the right at the big number "3", then to the left, see the big number "5", and immediately be befuddled.

"The aisle without a number, right hand side on the bottom shelf" says the helpful drugnazi, while simultaneously noticing that his tech has mistakenly typed a prescription for Wellbutrin XL for Wellbutrin SR. Roughly half the customers will be able to take it from here. The rest will go to step 3. "The aisle right in front of us, on the right hand side on the bottom shelf" The "right in front of us" sometimes will sink in, but nothing else. The person will then wander down aisle 4, looking to their left at a shelf above eye level.

I would go out and help if I had time and I cared, but I don't and I don't. I'm more worried about making sure the form of Wellbutrin your doctor actually prescribed is the form that makes it in your bottle. I'm funny about that. Filling prescriptions correctly. Besides, it's funny to watch you wander about in a clueless daze while I'm taking a phone call from someone who wants to know the name of "that pill that will make me pass a drug test". The caller is thinking of golden seal. It doesn't work. He'd buy it anyway if he could find it.

It's down aisle four.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

This Just In: Big Pharma Keeping The Drugnazi Awake With their Corruption.

I was on my way to a well-deserved good nights sleep when I came across this story. I know that you, the general public, craves nothing more than evidence of drug company sliminess, so at the cost of a few winks, here it is:

In the biggest tax settlement in U.S. history, the drug giant GlaxoSmithKline P.L.C. has agreed to pay $3.4 billion to the federal government in a case with tax implications for other multinational corporations.

GlaxoSmithKline, based in London with a U.S. headquarters in Philadelphia, said it was settling to avoid a far bigger potential hit from allegations that it undervalued its U.S. profit on nine products - including the heartburn medicine Zantac and the asthma drug Advair - between 1989 and 2005.


It seems that GSK, which derives much of it's profit from adding letters like CR, SR, or XL after the names of products shortly before they lose patent protection, had a little scheme in which it would book revenue in low tax countries where it operated while attributing expenses to high tax ones, regardless of where the revenue and expenses were actually generated.

Of course the payment of the biggest tax settlement in history is in no way evidence that they are slimy, corrupt, unethical greedheads. Paxil CR would be all the evidence you need in that regard.

I'm throwing this in for fun, then I'm going to bed, from the GSK website:

It is particularly important that we operate to high ethical standards, act responsibly and comply with the law.

We are fully committed to ensuring that all our business practices meet high standards and that our employees behave ethically and honestly.


I am shocked.....shocked I tell you...at the blatant disregard for corporate policy GSK's conduct in this tax matter represents, and I know you are as well. Goodnight.

Your Government Spends $5.6 Billion To Start A Catfight Among Two Tiny Pharmaceutical Companies.

Republicans believe we can streamline government and make it more effective through competition and privatization.... It is greater competition - not unchallenged government bureaucracies - that will cut the cost of government, improve the delivery of services, and ensure wise investment in infrastructure.

-From The 1996 Republican Party Platform.


Ten years later, the party of competition and government efficiency has given us a privatized war that is a breeding ground for billions of dollars in corruption, a $200 million bridge to nowhere, and the Medicare Part D program, widely praised among experts and beneficiaries alike for it's efficiency and the way it streamlined the delivery of government services through competition. Any lingering doubts about the newfound era of government efficiency will surely be dispelled by a story in today's New York Times, which chronicles the saga of BioShield:

a $5.6 billion effort to exploit the country's top medical and scientific brains and fill an emergency medical cabinet with new drugs and vaccines for a host of threats. “We will rally the great promise of American science and innovation to confront the greatest danger of our time,” President Bush said in starting the program.


After 5 years, this is what we got:

So far, only a small fraction of the anticipated remedies are available. Drug companies have waited months, if not years, for government agencies to decide which treatments they want and in what quantities. Unable to attract large pharmaceutical corporations to join the endeavor, the government is instead relying on small start-up companies that often have no proven track record.


"Unable to attract large pharmaceutical corporations to join the endeavor." Wow. First key indicator: when you've got Big Pharma walking away from a pot of money, something is dreadfully wrong with your program.

The Monkey-Boy administration has managed to promote competition among two small piss-ant little pharma's though. "Competition" in the same sense of the word as a backstage superdiva bitchslapfest. In a nutshell:

-The Department of Health and Human Services awards an entire $887 million contract to develop a new anthrax vaccine to one small biotech firm by the name of VaxGen, a company that has never taken a drug to market. It's first major product in 2003 was an AIDS vaccine. Weren't aware there was a vaccine for AIDS? There's not. It didn't work.

(When I first saw this story incidentally, I briefly entertained hope that the work could possibly inoculate me from hearing the work of the band Anthrax, whom I abhor. To my disappointment, the vaccine was to be against the fatal bacterial infection.)

-The maker of the current Anthrax vaccine, Emergent BioSolutions, seeing a threat to it's business, starts a fierce lobbying campaign to promote it's product, which has been linked to 6 deaths, complications such as lymphoma and multiple sclerosis, and does nothing to keep you from hearing that godawful song "I Am the Law." Emergent has spent over $1 million doing things like hiring ex-government officials who pushed for a new vaccine to lobby Congress instead to buy more of the old stuff. “The advice we were given was wrong.” Says former top HHS official Jerome M. Hauer, now on the payroll of Emergent. Large paychecks can do wonders to get a person to see the error of their former ways.

The result has been nothing. VaxGen and Emergent BioSolutions have been fighting a lobbying war, billions of dollars have gone down a rathole, and we are not one step closer to dealing with an anthrax attack. Which leads me to my favorite quote in the article. According to an HHS spokesman, "to come in and criticize BioShield as a failing program because we have not spent all the money and don't have all the products in the warehouse is completely and sorely misguided.”

Yeah, don't criticize us just because we haven't accomplished anything.

Now here's the kicker, again according to the Times,

Because of the perceived urgency of the threat, the project suspends some traditional standards. It allows new vaccines or drugs to be used in emergencies before completing the lengthy Food and Drug Administration approval process. Full testing on humans is also not required because it is too dangerous, even though that means no one will know with certainty whether the vaccines will work until used in a crisis.


THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PROVE IT WORKS! AND THEY STILL CAN'T MANAGE TO MAKE ANYTHING!! AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calming down now, lets go back to that promising platform of 1996

A Republican administration will make competition a centerpiece of government, eliminating duplication and increasing efficiency.

Nothing more here for me to add. This clusterfuck speaks for itself.

Read the whole story here.

Tuesday Morning Mailbag.

Probably the most enjoyable part of running my little blog garden is sifting through the comments of the people who feel moved enough by what I write to contact me. They never fail to entertain, and sometimes they can provide the material for a blog post or two, saving me the trouble of coming up with any ideas of my own. Yesterday a gentleman from Singapore wrote in to ask why I repeatedly refer to George W. Bush as "President Monkey Boy." While I thought the reason would be pretty obvious, the question seemed to be sincere. Maybe they don't have monkeys in Singapore. An honest question deserves an honest answer though, so in the "a picture is worth a thousand words" category, take a look below and see if this doesn't erase any doubts you might have as to where the name came from:




OK, that picture was mean. Monkeys don't deserve that kind of abuse. Here's a side by side comparison. I like to call this one "GET AWAY FROM MY OIL!/GET AWAY FROM MY FOOD SOURCE!"



Oh hell, why not one more. This one looks like he's trying to sing the national anthem or something. Not in Spanish I hope, 'cause President Monkey Boy said singing the national anthem in Spanish was bad.


Man, that was fun. People should write me letters more often.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

My Sexual Kink May Be The Key To Stopping Islamic Terrorism

Sometimes great thoughts come to you when you least expect it. Today, for example, while trying to forget about today's pill counting experiences, I wandered around the Internet and made a great leap towards ending Fundamentalist Islamic oppression of women. Here it is:


Of course I didn't realize this at first. All I did was stop what I was doing and think "That woman could be a teetotal babe or she could be bald." Somehow I found this prospect intriguing. Then it hit me:

Burkas make me hot.

It's the surprise package thing I'm totally into. Unwrap and you never know what you'll find. Perhaps a Fiona Apple or Emmanuelle Beart. On the other hand, maybe a Madeleine Albright or God forbid Janet Reno. Think about that moment of excitement when you're playing Monopoly, reaching for the pile of "Community Chest" cards not knowing if you're going to collect $50 from every other player or get sent straight to jail. It's kinda like that.

Of course the irony of a garment meant to enforce modesty attracting the attention of an amoral atheist cad such as myself cannot be overstated. If Muhammad lets his woman take a great leap into the 19th century, then I'll walk by her without a second glance. Wrap her up though, and my inner Glenn Quagmire starts to wonder why the wrapping is necessary. Think about it there Ahmed. I know you'll do the right thing. Giggity giggity giggity.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Life Ain't Easy For A Big Pharma CEO

It's been a rough year for Peter Dolan. His office was raided by the FBI. He was outsmarted by Canadians. He watched the stock price of the company he ran, Bristol Myers Squibb, fall nearly 60% under his tenure and profits fall to under the level the company pays out in dividends. Two drugs the company had invested millions in, the blood pressure medication Vanlev and the diabetes drug Pargluva, were rejected by the FDA. The same FDA, incidentally, that had no problem with Baycol, Bextra, Duract, Posicor, Propulsid, Redux, Rezulin, Seldane, Tequin, or Vioxx, all drugs that later had to be pulled from the market after they injured and/or killed people. The board of directors finally had enough and showed him the door. After approving a 2.2 million dollar bonus for him. Seriously.

Ok, let's back up a little bit. The FBI raid was the result of an investigation into BMS's accounting practices. Apparently Mr. Dolan came up with a scheme to provide incentives for wholesalers to buy more of his company's product than they could sell. I'm no accounting guru, but I think it's safe to say when the feds come 'a knocking and make you agree to have a federal judge watch your actions in return for not putting you in jail, you've fucked up.

The outsmarted by Canadians part is my favorite, because I love Canada. It's my favorite country on the entire planet. Someday I'm going to show up on Canada's front porch in a basket with a little note attached asking them to adopt me. The particular Canadians to this story would be the generic drug company Apotex. Apotex had made a move to challenge the patent of Plavix, one of BMS's biggest selling drugs. Evidently this made Mr. Dolan soil his pants, as he entered into an agreement with Apotex to essentially pay them to drop the challenge and not make a generic version of Plavix. Apotex said they would take the deal only in the case that if the agreement was struck down by regulatory authorities, BMS wouldn't go to court for 5 days after Apotex starts making a generic and also would waive it's right to seek triple damages when it does go to court. BMS agrees, confident that there's no way the agreement will be nixed.

Guess what happened? Several states attorney's general and the FTC opposed the deal, which got scrapped. Apotex then cranks out the generic Plavix for 5 days and floods the market with enough product that BMS had to reduce it's earnings estimates for this year by 25%

BBBBWWWWRRRAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Wait, it gets better. A judge ruled in the original patent dispute in favor of BMS. Meaning there was no reason to ever enter into this disastrous agreement in the first place.

There is no way you can say that Peter Dolan wasn't a shitty CEO. Unless you're on the Board of Directors of BMS, which both gave him the previously mentioned 2.2 million bonus and fired him. So I guess they kinda did say he was a shitty CEO, in a weird type of way. The way they write a 2 million dollar check to a total fuck up makes you feel good about paying over $300 for a month's worth of Abilify doesn't it?

I can just hear the compensation committee next year evaluating the performance of Dolan's replacement:

"Well, let's see, he stopped all research and development, implemented a program where we start to pay people to take our drugs, and publicly declared that Bristol Myers Squibb would give preference in hiring to known pedophiles. I would say a bonus of around 1.5 million would be in order. All in favor?"

So yeah, enjoy your bonus there Peter, along with your regular salary of $1.25 million, your "other short and long term compensation" of $2.8 million, and your "long term incentive payout" of $1.1 million. You just take that total of 7.3 million dollars and try and pay someone to come up with a reason as to why you deserve it.

Peter R. Dolan. Business failure. Con man success.

You can read more here, here, and here

Thursday, September 14, 2006

An Unhealthy Obsession Fulfilled

From the moment I first saw a blog with categories, I seethed with jealousy. I knew then the only reason that Big Pharma was allowed to run amok, the reason that Republicans continued to be in any position of power anywhere in this country, the reason there is one ounce of stupidity left anywhere on this planet, was because my writings were not as easy to sort through as they should be. I wrote many a hate mail to blogger.com to curse them for putting any kind of barrier between my wisdom and you, the people who so desperately need it. I tried some half-ass hack for awhile that was supposed to be able to put categories in a blogger blog. Some of you have probably noticed it usually didn't work and when it did it never worked well. I almost moved my little blog garden once, but in the end, laziness prevailed and it was you, the public, that suffered. For that I apologize.

Today I am happy to report that if you look at the top of the page under the picture of me that really isn't me, you will see all my online thoughts neatly organized into 4 broad categories. It would seem that the people at blogger have finally realized that the best way to stop my 300 page hate filled diatribes fed-ex'd overnight to their corporate headquarters is to stop calling the police and give me what I want. They have added the ability to easily tag posts to the new beta version, and while I am happy for the moment, I am sure in the long run this move will only encourage me to make ever more unreasonable demands of them. Until then, feel free to browse.

Shocked And Humiliated. People Say The Meanest Things.

So as part of the deal I've made with myself to prevent the onset of full-fledged alcoholism, I only let myself buy scotch out of funds designated as "overtime" on my pay stub. Mostly because working the occasional OT shift gets me out of my darkened room where I sit and listen to Wagner while softly cursing Jennifer Aniston for starting the flat hair craze. I miss 80's hair.

This morning I show up at a store where I pick up some of these OT shifts from time to time. "Oh I'm glad you're here." The tech said as I struggled to remember my password. I should have known this was the first sign of trouble.

"And why do you say that?"

"The other pharmacist is mean"

"No, I think you're confused. I'm mean."

"Seriously, that other guy is rude. The customers hate him and it's hard to work like that."

You have no idea how much it hurt to hear these words. Why didn't these people just insult my mother?

I decide to show them who the drugnazi was. Next customer that came in got the silent treatment. What does he tell the clerk?

"That guy always gets my pills out fast. You should hire him full time"

DAMN YOU! CAN'T YOU SEE I FIND YOU BENEATH CONTEMPT? ARE YOU SO INCREDIBLY STUPID AS TO NOT SEE THE REASON YOU GOT YOUR ZYPREXA SO DAMN FAST WAS BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO SEE OR SMELL YOU?

A quick aside. Anytime anyone, anywhere, has ever told me I was a "good" pharmacist, what they have meant was that I was a "fast" pharmacist. No one has ever said to me "no pharmacist knows drugs that are responsible for CYP3A4 induction interactions the way you do drugnazi" and no one ever will.

Later on in the day an old lady brought in cookies. A drugnazi eating old lady cookies. Jesus I'm glad this is an anonymous blog. They were good.

After work a guy from the gas company showed up to light the pilot light for my fireplace. The pilot light wasn't the problem. The electric igniter had been unplugged before I left for vacation in June and I had forgotten about it. Where's the fucking scotch? I earned it today.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Lady At The Pizza Place Gave Me A Free Soda Today

I wonder if she was hitting on me? I wouldn't blame her, 'cause I am kinda hot. Some have said I bear an uncanny resemblance to the Italian chemist Amedeo Avogadro.

On the other hand, it looked like she had already rung up my total, and adding a soda was more work than she was interested in.

I have long said that the three forces that rule the world are laziness, money, and incompetence. These three words explain 99.98% of human actions.

Since the second explanation fits into the "3 forces" rule, it's the one I'll have to go with.......dammit.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I Issue A Challenge To Your Doctor, Drug Companies, And The Entire World.

Give me one good reason Proquin XR should exist.

Just one reason this piece of crap should be taking up any space on my shelf.

"To fatten the profits of Depomed and Esprit Pharma" doesn't count. I said a good reason.

If you can do it, I will sign over my next paycheck to you.

First some background as to why I am so confident you will never lay a hand on my money. Proquin XR is an extended-release version of the antibiotic ciprofloxacin, which has been around for years and is now available as a generic. It's not unusual for a "cr" "xr" or "xl" version of a drug to come out just as the original is losing it's patent protection. The rationale you'll hear from Drug Companies is that by making a longer acting version of a drug, they're increasing the effectiveness of therapy by making it more likely the patient will remember to take their meds as they should. Fine. Put aside the fact that the price the patient pays for being a lazy ass is almost always completely out of proportion to the benefit. At least you can argue there is a benefit.

Thing is, ciprofloxacin has had a profit-enhancing more convenient to take form for awhile now. For those of you who can't handle taking a tablet every 12 hours and are willing to pay up, there is Cipro XR. The once a day convenience will add about 55% to the cost of treating your urinary tract infection. Worth it to someone I suppose. I've learned never to underestimate the more money than brains demographic.

Now along comes Proquin XR. The name "Proquin" comes from the Latin words "pro," which means "for" and "quin," which means "no apparent reason" Proquin is an extended release form of ciprofloxacin, just like Cipro XR, and you take it once a day, just like Cipro XR. There are some very important differences between Proquin and Cipro XR though:

1) The official labeling of Proquin advises patients to take it with food. This allows them to claim that when taken as directed it has a lower incidence of GI side effects than Cipro XR or generic ciprofloxacin.

2) It costs 38% more than Cipro XR, and 114% more than generic ciprofloxacin. (all prices come from my place of employment)

3) The tablets are a very attractive shade of blue, as opposed to the ciprofloxacin's rather boring off-white.

The most important difference of all though is the particular extended-release mechanism used by Proquin. Since it is different from Cipro XR's mechanism, it means that the two products are not exactly the same, and therefore not substitutable by me unless I call your doctor. Which I won't. I call your doctor when he or she's doing something that might hurt or kill you, not when he's or she is wasting money. This will be the only warning you get. Use it well.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Today I Use Pop Psychology To Analyze Drug Names

I don't remember a lot about college really. I remember my organic chemistry professor telling us that car tires are much better today because of the wonder of modern polymers. I remember Avogadro's number, 6 x 10 to the 23rd power, is the number of atoms in an element's atomic weight in grams. Many a time as graduation neared the question "what is the most common side effect of Drug X?" would produce a doe-eyed silent stare in the young drug nazi, but I remembered Avogadro's number long after it's moment of extremely limited use had faded into the dustbin of my academic history.

I also remember discussing in a pharmacy marketing class the topic of drug names. Not the boring generic names, which are picked by a chimpanzee throwing darts at a poster of the alphabet, but the snazzy, hip, we want to make you feel good about spending your food budget on this brand names. I remember the professor telling us that a drug company would spend in the six figures figuring out what to call a product, chasing the perfect combination of letters that would maximize sales without doing something like sounding like the Chinese phrase for "fuck your mother." He told us that "power letters" such as X and Z were the way to go, and the evidence at the time bore him out, as the free drug pens we were using in class would have been for manly-sounding, powerful names. Xanax, Zantac, Effexor, Zyprexa, Zyrtec, Xenical. These meds were gonna kick the ass of whatever ailed you.

It would seem times have changed. Here are a few names plucked from a list of new drugs approved by the FDA in 2006:

Atripla
Emtriva
Prezista
Opana
Oracea
Daytrana
Relenza
Amitiza
Ranexa
Boniva
Climara

And of course my personal favorite, Exubera, which I think is the Latin word for bong.

Our drug names have gone flaccid. Obviously, there's a focus group out there that has managed to convince Big Pharma that feminine sounding three or four syllable words that end with "A" are the way to go. The question is, why? I thought about it some and came up with a theory. The great thing about a theory is that you don't need a shred of evidence to support it. So here is my theory, which has yet to be proven wrong:

After 15 years of the press, usually in the business section and with the main angle being how much money it would cost the manufacturer, running stories about drugs such as Rezulin, Baycol, Bextra, Vioxx, Duract, Posicor, Propulsid, Tequin, Redux, and Seldane injuring and/or killing people and having to be pulled from the market, Big Pharma was worried that people might be starting to realize that prescription medicines could be dangerous. A newly-hired 25 year old marketer proposed that the way to solve this problem was to make the drugs less dangerous and was immediately given a new position cleaning up poop in the room where they keep the dart throwing chimpanzees. The current vice-president of international marketing of Big Pharma Inc, was the man who proposed dealing with dangerous chemicals by giving them less dangerous sounding names.

"Vioxx" = Scary. RUN!

"Atripla." What could something called Atripla possibly do to hurt you? Now hand over your $75 copay and feel safe......you are getting sleeeeeeepppppyyyyy...remember Atripla is your friend.....a good, trusted friend.......

I also think it might have something to do with Avogadro's number. I'll theorize some more and get back to you on that.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

This Has Nothing To Do With Drugs Or Work, But It Is Another Reason To Hate Republicans.

If you're old enough, you might remember how Ronald Reagan mopped the floor with Jimmy Carter during a presidential debate by telling the American people to ask themselves a simple question, "Are you better off than you were four years ago?" He was implying that Carter wasn't fit to be president because the state of the American economy under his leadership was hurting the average citizen. Now here's a map showing the change in median income in each state during the last six years from The Detroit Free Press, via The Washington Monthly:


Just in case you needed another reason why Monkey-Boy isn't fit to be your president.

Oregon Joins California In The Axis Of Irresponsibility, Takers Of Paxil CR Fear For Their Mental Health.

In the Golden State, we saw how politicians desperate for votes can break free of corporate influence for a few days to help sick people. From the Beaver State (huh huh.....huh huh.....beaver) comes word today of the people themselves going around a legislature still under the corporate heel and taking direct action. From The Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

A measure to make prescription drugs more affordable for Oregonians without health insurance or drug coverage appears to be one of the few initiatives on the November ballot -- and perhaps the only one -- with little controversy or opposition

Measure 44, sponsored by state Sen. Bill Morrisette, D-Springfield, grew out of attempts in the 2005 Legislature to expand a discount program allowing the state to buy prescription drugs in bulk for low-income seniors without drug coverage, and for school districts and local governments.

Opposition from pharmaceutical industry lobbyists killed the expansion effort last year, so Morrisette turned to the initiative process.

No matter what the means for getting there, it would seem there is a movement amongst the people to figuratively kick Big Pharma in the nads. Whoo Hoo! The Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, the trade group of the pharmaceutical industry, knowing it can't stop the initiative, has been reduced to limiting the plan to cover only individuals and not private employers. Still pretty shitty of them, but nowhere near the pure evil we've come to expect from their ilk.

So today the drugnazi takes a few minutes to say "yay for us" and raise a bit of scotch aloft in celebration before it goes into my stomach. Tomorrow I return to watching my back.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

California Recklessly Puts The Future Of Breakthroughs Like Paxil CR At Risk

It would seem the Golden State has witnessed a remarkable political transformation. In less than a year, the Governor, known to millions the world over as a time traveling killer robot, has changed his top priorities from Union Busting and starving state government of revenue to limiting greenhouse gases and using the power of state government to help California citizens afford their prescription drugs. According to the LA Times:

The price-reduction effort, a showpiece for Schwarzenegger's reelection campaign, is an approach he rejected last year and one opposed by the drug industry

An approach he rejected last year, when he wasn't running for re-election. Might those two things be related? I'll let you decide. I suppose though I would rather have someone in office who talks sense for 6 months out of his term than the fatal stubborn arrogance of president monkey-boy. And at least the state government of California hasn't declared war on cursive handwriting.

According to the Times, the plan:
would give the drug industry three years to voluntarily negotiate discounts with the state on behalf of people who earn up to triple the federal poverty level, or about $60,000 a year for a family of four. An additional 400,000 people who earn somewhat more but face debilitating medical bills also would be eligible.The discounts would take as much as 40% off brand-name drugs and up to 60% off generic medicines.In a major concession, Schwarzenegger agreed that companies that offer insufficient markdowns could be impeded from selling drugs through Medi-Cal, a $2-billion market that serves millions of Californians.

Big Pharma is ecstatic. The article goes on to quote the CEO of Pfizer, who says that "We've been ripping off consumers for far too long, and are thankful that Governor Schwarzenegger and the legislature have put an end to our unethical price gouging." Then he held a press conference where he set fire to a giant symbolic check made out for 3.9 million dollars, an amount equal to his bonus for 2005.

OK, I made that last paragraph up. Except for the amount of Pfizer's CEO's bonus. I'll bet I don't have to tell you what Big Pharma's real reaction was. It's the same tired argument we've been hearing year after year. Namely, as the Corporate whore of journalism, The Wall Street Journal, puts it on it's editorial page:

Over the long term, Gov. Schwarzenegger's price controls would have an even more perverse effect. They would lead to fewer new medicines, particularly if other states follow California's example.

Today, it costs between $800 million and $1 billion to bring a new drug to market.


Except that there are fewer medicines being developed now. From Forbes, not exactly a center for left-wing muckraking:

A total of 87 major drugs with $31 billion in combined annual sales have lost patent protection since 2002, but new drugs aren't arriving fast enough to replace them. Only 20 were cleared by the Food & Drug Administration last year, down from 53 a decade ago.

Makes you wonder what Drug Companies are doing with the gusher of dollars our current unregulated system is sending into their coffers. Other than writing 4 million dollar checks to their CEO's, they're stopping research on antibiotics while spending $84 billion a year doing things like convincing us we have diseases they invented that match drugs they already have on the market. OK, to be fair, they probably aren't actually writing out 4 million dollar checks. The CEO of Pfizer more than likely has direct deposit.

The $84 billion falls under the category of "marketing and administration." It's over twice what Big Pharma spends on research, and according to their own propaganda, it's enough to bring 84 new drugs to market each and every year. Except the new drugs aren't happening.


So if we're going to get less in they way of new drugs that actually cure disease, we might as well pay less. I'd never thought I'd say this, but yay for California state government. Just watch your back after election day.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Five Years Of Pharmacy School, And These Are The Questions I Am Asked.

Three quick hits of wisdom from today's pill filling fest:

1) "If I bring in a new prescription, can you fill it?"

Yes. Yes we can. That's what we do.

2) "This pad days 8 by 10 and this one says 5 by 8. Why is this one in a smaller box?"

Just please fucking kill me.

3) "I need my cholesterol medicine, the one that starts with an 'L'

"Would that be the Zetia?"

"Yeah, that's it"

For some reason that one didn't bother me. I don't know why.

You Know, Thanks But No Thanks.

Alternate Post Title: One More Reason Your Prescription Takes So Damn Long To Fill.

Jesus Christ. With people doing me favors like this I have no need to fear one of the ex-girlfriends showing up to put a knife in my brain. From the trade publication Drug Topics:

Washington State pharmacists are wondering if they are expected to be the penmanship police since a new law decrees that prescriptions in cursive handwriting are no longer considered to be legible.

As of June 7, legible Rxs are defined as hand printed, typed, or electronically generated, said Steven Saxe, executive director, Washington State Board of Pharmacy. Even if an Rx written in cursive handwriting is perfectly readable, it is still not considered to be legible, and pharmacists must act accordingly.

Look numbnuts, there are very few things that piss me off more than a Dr. Dumbass who seems to be incapable of communicating in the written form of any of the world's languages despite having a graduate degree, but I'm the one filling the damn prescription, which means whether it's legible or not is up to me. If I know what the doctor wants you to have, it's legible, if I don't, then I call Doctor Dumbass and find out. Do you seriously think you can solve this problem by making me call not only Dr. Dumbass, but every other doctor on the face of the earth to "verify" every single prescription where letters are connected together? Does doing something like this make you feel important in some way? Is there seriously nothing more worthy of your attention going on in Washington state? In other words....... WHAT IN THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING????!!!!!!

Listen to me buttwipes. I can barely keep up with the vast pill craving hoards of barbarians as it is, so you try something like this in my state, and I will defy you. You got that? I will most assuredly and purposefully break any stupid-ass clone of this law you may get the bright idea to waste your and my time on. Then you can take me to jail. Then no prescriptions get filled at all. How you like those apples?

Fuckers.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Thank God For The Alert Passer By

It was a busy day. The kind of day when you're happy to have to take a dump because it means you get to sit down for a couple minutes. Those of you in the profession know exactly what I mean.

In the midst of pill-counting chaos though, an eerie kind of quiet settled over the pharmacy. It was kinda nice at first, until I noticed the intern making heaving type motions like a cat about to toss up a hairball, trying to talk and unable to make a sound. Now I hate to touch people, but it was really looking like I was going to have to go over and take a shot at the Heimlich maneuver. At this very moment one of our regular customers walks by, says,

"her face turns as red as her hair"

and continues her shopping trip down the aisle. Part of me now wants to go out and kick the customer in the crotch. Since the customer was a woman, making a crotch kick of little value, I instead turn my attention to the dying intern.

I am happy to report that the intern spat out a piece of drug rep candy, everyone lived, and I had to touch no one.